Aug 4, 2007

Ghost Gig

They enter the darkened room as I sit there, behind my veil, holding my breath. Cameras flash incessantly and I don't move a muscle. It's very late, and some are very drunk. Dear lord! What are children doing up at this hour in this place? Nervous giggles ensue as the room grows quiet with anticipation. Something should happen, but I don't move.

Now the game begins and I am pushed and prodded. I remain as one beyond the reach of this mortal coil. "She's not real!" ventures one falsely brave man. So a woman starts flicking the lovely diamond ring on my hand, once, twice-- then grabs and tugs on it, and that is finally enough. I break pose, turn my veiled face to her and hiss, "just stop it!!"

Mwaaaahhhhoooouuuu!!! A feral scream erupts from the golddigging little thief, and the room explodes with shouts and laughter. I explain to my guests that I meant not to scare them, but to stop a thief. The tall and beautiful blonde tart buries her head in shame, but her boyfriend makes her stay for the rest of the ghost tour and thank me on her way out of the famously haunted building.

They pay me to do this.

14 comments:

Velociman said...

Just stop it! Heard that afore.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Hey, wiseguy. It's not like I'm quittin' my day job!

Velociman said...

Thought you were talking about me!

Joan of Argghh! said...

You think everyone is talking about you. Narcissism is a wonderful hobby!

Jean said...

You work the ghost tours in St. Augustine? Beautiful city!

Joan of Argghh! said...

It's not far from where you are, Jean. Come visit!

Peggy U said...

You get to play a ghost for a living? That sounds like fun. Ever scare the water out of anyone?

Elisson said...

So you finally decided to start a Blarrggghh!, eh?

Good on ya. Just remember that your URL is primordialslack.blogspot.com without the www.

Welcome to the Silly-Ass Neighborhood...

...speaking of which, I can see V-man has already stopped by...

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, A Grown Up has commented on my blog!! No lesser a light than the Elisson (with one L!). I am indeed mystified and gratified all at once!

Welcome to my little town-on-the-interweb. After 7 years of lurking, it's about time, I guess.

james old guy said...

Ah yes another one has opened Pandora's box,,let the games begin

Joan of Argghh! said...

James! You are most welcome here. See my latest entry about "naked".
:)
Pandora's box, indeed!

Anonymous said...

Elisson sent me. I'll be back. (But I still steadfastly refuse to sign up for another account just so's I can leave comments.)
'mouse

Joan of Argghh! said...

No need to sign up. Figure it out.

You're as helpless as the pirates around here.

:o)

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'mouse said...

"Other"? When did they put that "other" button up there?