Sep 6, 2007

Reproach


Is there any other creature that can pierce the disinclined heart of man quite like a good dog? Cats are special, sure. They should have their own special bus, too. But there's nothing like the baleful look of a faithful, friendly dog to tell you when you've seriously missed the mark.

"Take me for a walk, pleeeeze?! I'm so cute and I need sunshine and squirrels and birds and sand and waves and what's that, food?! Did someone just walk by the door? I hear a car! Take me outside!! Oh please, oh please, oh puh-leeeeze!"

I tried to wheeze a few coughs out, to make her understand that I was still sick, and not up for a beach-walk. "No," she insisted, "it's been over a week and the beach is there, I know it is!!! There's BIRDS that need to be chased!!! Oh c'mon, c'mon!!!"

So, fairly sure that this flu is really strep and the stress of walking in the famously deep, fluffy sand of Porpoise Point would send the infection to my heart, I resigned to my fate. Pepper-Dog pointed out that I had spent the day stressing at work and so if I was gonna die, I might as well make her happy before I go. And maybe cook dinner, too, while I was at it. It was hard to argue with her logic.

She sits up front in the car and decides to let me drive. But not without her close attention. Like Rain Man, she is an excellent driver. She sits bolt-upright in the passenger seat and looks straight ahead as though divining the road conditions, the traffic patterns and the occasional BIRD! as we drive. If I stop at a crossing, she breaks her concentration to look left, then right. Then, she rears back to the right, raises her left paw, and gives me a high four, as if to say, "this.is.so.cool!" We start off from the intersection and she resumes her control-freakish attention to the road.

We get to the beach in 5 minutes. She is so stoked that she would cut off her own tail right there and then just out of gratitude. Not necessary, I assure her.

Big, honking waves and skinny surfer dudes saying, "cool dog!" as we walk by. Birds are chased, wind blows, waves tumble her around and... it's not enough. But, we have to go back home.

Worst of all, this damn dog is such an adjunct conscience, she knows that when I go to the kitchen there is hope for a snack, but when I start pouring a glass of rum and coke, all of her hopes of further interaction are fruitless for the next 40 minutes or so. With a sigh and kerplunck! she slides down the wall and lays on the floor like--like a dead dog.

There's no making her happy.

15 comments:

Erica said...

Lucky you. Sounds like you got a Jooish dog. Guilt included. Never happy.

[Jooish Dog]

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the corner, in the dark...LIKE A DOG.

[/Jooish Dog]

Oy. I think if I had the worst flu I could ever have in my life, given my somewhat crowded upbringing, a dog-driven walk on the beach [sand, waves, warm sunset -- aaaaah] would have me feeling back to norms in no time.

Hope youse is gettin' better, gurl. Helen's in just over a month.

dogette said...

Dogs know what's good for us.

And what a danged cutie that Pepper Dog is.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Erica,

Just my luck to adopt a Jooish Dog! Of course, she could be Catholic. We've not had that conversation in the two years I've known her.

For a dog that was rescued from certain death, you'd think she'd cut me some slack.

Dogette, thanks! I didn't know I'd be dog-blogging tonight, but Rachel Lucas' doggie pic today takes the prize today.

Jimbo - PRS said...

Yo, I can set you up with a cat named Junior. He is, however, a bit of a douchebag.

I loves me a good dog.

P.S. I'm trying to imagine a dog eating gefilte fish. Oy!

LauraB said...

The Trooper wants one of those damned blue heelers so badly...I've told him at least one cat has to die first. AND he'd have to explain it to his favorite ninja cat, Doodlebug. No, it may just have to wait a few more years...

But good on ya for getting up and out - it's healthy, that salty air.

Kim said...

Beebs the Lab has finally decided that any of our failings are his cross to bear-flu, muscle aches, whatever. Because he's getting old, too.
But he'll holler at you for treats or whatever if it only involves moving within a five foot square area.
Dogs are the best.

Erica said...

Jimbo, I've seen a dog lap up an entire pile of human shit, so I'm sure one would have no trouble consuming a tasty wad of shmooshed whitefish + pike. And with some horseradish? Mmmmm....azuy geshmak.

As a child, I experimented with Gaines Burgers. At that age, I hadn't yet learned that while dogs could eat people food, people were not supposed to eat dog food.

Nonny said...

I have two doggies and I loves them. She is gorgeous.

pamibe said...

Good for Pepper Dog! Now I must go apologize to Breagha... I'm afraid she caught part of this post and now realizes there is a beach close by that she should explore.... and I should be shot for not taking her!

I don't think I should let her drive, though...

Joan of Argghh! said...

pam,

It's always best to check with the PD before letting 'em drive. She was about a year old when we adopted her, so we weren't sure if she'd been to driving school. She has since proven herself... but I still drive because I'm a control-freak, too.
:o)

You have to be careful about what they read, too.

Joan of Argghh! said...

nonny, I just love the puppy on your home page, btw. That is the cutest pic!

Of course your topic title today is certain to gobsmack a few of us here across the pond... (a very baaaddd word!) eeeek!

Peggy U said...

I think it would be much better to die of strep on the beach than at home in a chair. Dog had the right idea. Maybe the dog wants rum and Coke? Worth a try. Then dog would probably fall asleep too.

GUYK said...

Ahh yes, the exuberance of a puppy, wild, undisciplined, and happy with to speeds..wide open or asleep in one's lap. Then to watch them as they grow and become your loving friend that forgives you of everything but brushing their teeth..which takes a little snack to get that lick of forgiveness on the hand. Then they grow old but still love you and follow you when they can but spend their time next to you or under your feet whenever they can.

I figure the creator made some mistakes..mosquitoes, house flies, roaches and democrats come to mind..but dawgs twern't one of them.. except that I just wish she had given them a longer life span.

I do believe the bard was writing about dogs when he said it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all because we lose our dogs all to soon.

Ted said...

When we started keeping rabbits, our dogs decided that anything the bunnies can eat they can too. They'd always like baby carrots for treats anyways, but now they eat celery, spinach, kale, cilantro and other assorted greens. Everything except dried papaya and hay, although they've tried. God knows they've tried to like hay.

The younger one also thinks that the rabbit's litter box is a freakin' snack buffet. Mmmmm, pellets! No kisses from you, and don't give me none of that "it's gourmet" bull.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Hey, Ted! Welcome to my blog. Sorry about the post above. Makes for a poor greeting.

I've meant to link to your excellent blog, and now I've added you. Thanks for dropping by.

Pepper Dog can graze on grass all afternoon if I let her, so I give her frozen green beans for snacks. She snarfs 'em up!