Sep 3, 2007

This Just In...

There is no cure for the common cold crud I'm experiencing right now. However, I find that Stoli vodka and grapefruit juice certainly knock this cold on its ass.

I feel lower than Michael Vick. Bleh.

Update: (like youse guys care) Still pretty sick. Slept pretty well, got up and went into work. Bad decision. Boss asks me how I feel. "Like crap on a cracker," I respond. After a few hours of hearing me cough everyone pretty much was in agreement about me taking my germs back home.


Update 2: Grapefruit juice and Bacardi Orange go pretty damn well together. Stopped the coughing for a bit, anyway.

29 comments:

Erica said...

Grapefruit and cranberry do wonders together. All that Vitamin C and Pee-Pee Power....you'll piss the crud away in no time.

Although...and this is just me, a Vodka Non-Connoisseur: I find that it doesn't matter what kind of vodka is used if you're mixing.

...and I'm sure Jimbo would highly recommend you use clear ice. I don't know why, except for it probably makes it look prettier.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Well, Stoli's all that's in the house. I rarely touch it, but the grapefruit juice seems so right.

I can't eat anything. Nothing appeals to me at all, so this may be the fever portion of a flu bug. I'm hoping that it will last for another 10 lbs...

Kim said...

Vodka & grapefruit-Salty Dog without the salt! A perfect beach drink. It's extremely healthy. Really. Trust me.

Erica said...

Oh, yes, I just remembered....a real sickness panacea, if you could get your hands on some, is blackberry brandy.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I notice no guys have any decent advice.

Is there anything better than home-girls who know their libations? Ya'll can both come to my little town any time for a drink and an afternoon of slack by the pool.

Jean said...

Sounds like a kick-ass way to kick a cold's ass!
Hope it works quickly, but you should maintain preventive medicine doses to make sure it stays away... just sayin'

Joan of Argghh! said...

Girl, you know it!

But, not too much vodka.

Like the Ruskies say, "Wodka makes you womit."

Jimbo - PRS said...

OK, first of all, Erica is right about the clear ice, but wrong about the "why." It keeps the drink from tasting like the freezer, and it is just much more civilized. The grapefruit and vodka will do, I suppose. If you want to take the edge off the grapefruit, you could add some orange juice, or a bit of cranberry juice. I also highly recommend Finlandia Grapfruit infusion vodka.

I recommend: tea, honey, lemon and a generous slug of Meysr's (or Gosling) dark rum.

The Wiseass Jooette doesn't know shit from shinola about vodka or ice, and she drinks some kind of silly beer with a Tennessee Williams (as I recall) name.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I like the edge of the grapefruit. Makes me mean. Makes me want to get better.

I remember the honey, bourbon and lemon juice elixir as a kid. The cops would likely take kids away from such parents nowadays!

Erica said...

Weeping Bejus, everywhere I go, it's f**cking damage control with Jimbo. I give him honest to goodness props and he still bats my ass down.

He'll find a bottle of his "generous slug of Meyers rum" poured down the seat of his pants next time I see him.

And I happen to drink some very fine beer, named Stella Artois, thankyouverymuch, you uncivilized dooshbag (not you, Joanie...you're quite nice, and I like you a lot).

Not Blanche Freaking DuBois, you illiterate putz. Christ, haven't you ever read Streetcar? Or can't you put down the latest issue of Weird New Jersey: The Bye-Bye Bennies / Giant Fireball / Washed Up Tampon Applicators Down The Shore on Labor Day Edition?

Jim - PRS said...

Illiterate putz?

Jim - PRS said...

Tag didn't work.
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechastreetcarnameddesire.html

Erica said...

Well, SURE: After I gave you a hint, Mr. Taggy No Worky.

(|) <-- Your mouf.

OxO <-- My butt.

(|) + OxO <-- Your mouf kissing my butt.

Listen, Yom Kippur is coming up and I think it might behoove me and my tempestuous soul to try and be nice to you, so quit baiting me.

;-)

Joan of Argghh! said...

Hey, what about me, and my misery?!!

I'm happy to host ya'lls spats, but really...

I went back to work today only to give out by noon. Bleh.

More cough syrup is in order.
Sigh.

Erica said...

Sorry, Joanie.....I'll try and behave. He started, though. I hope you feel better.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Please don't behave! We all like ya just the way you are.

And yes, he started it! LOL!

And thanks for the encouragement. I think I need:
More aspirin,
more grapefruit juice,
More sleep. Sigh.

Erica said...

...and more vodka! Which will help you sleep, though in larger quantities, you might not wake up feeling so hot.

Jimbo - PRS said...

Joan,

I hope you feel better, and I don't blame you in any way for the bluster and downright crude remarks from the Wiseass Jooette dewemplin, who possibly is the only person in the Western Hemisphere who does not associate Marlon Brando's "Stella!" with Tennessee Williams and actually things people need a hint.

Dewemplin, for sure.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Thanks, Jimbo. I depend on the kindness of strangers.

Erica said...

To the schmageggi in the alligator panties:

Zols leben in a haus mit nein un neintsig tsimmer, un du zol zein tziegrub, arantza gein, in nisht eine. Oh, and Gei kacken ahf an yam, Herrboy.

Oh, wait, I forgot...you already have, and that's the main reason why Jersey's beaches SUCK. [Go ahead, run to Elisson for translation -- you ain't getting scheisse translated from me!]

Joanie, I'm terribly sorry for the outburst -- he provoked me. A speedy recovery, to you, and perhaps ignoring anything the putz who's never sampled a crisp, cool Stella Artois has to say might aid in your immediate convalescence.

[Dear Gott, Why have you chosen me, of all your flock, to be a Dooshbag Magnet? Write back soon. Sincerely yours, WJ]

Joan of Argghh! said...

Gawd, you two are incorrigible!

I'll just sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
:o)

Skully said...

Well, ol' Skully recommends tequila n' salt to numb yer throat, and a generous portion of kimchi with grog chasers.

After breakfast, continue the tequila n' grog.

For lunch, some chicken soup (spiked with some good rum) and some key lime pie.

Continue the tequila n' grog therapy.

Fer supper (or dinner), try somethin' light, such as BBQ'ed ribs (babyback), with ample Jack Daniels glaze.

Follow up with tequila shots with fresh lime n' more grog.

Before bed, a warm brandy will clear yer head.

If you can't sleep, use copious amounts of sudafed n' hall's cough drops.
And don't ferget Burt's Bees brand Beeswax lip balm fer yer lips.

Jimbo - PRS said...

Ich kummer mich nicht um Yiddischen Quatsch zu ubersetzen. Du kannst ins Hut scheissen.

Geh weg!

Erica said...

Haha....oib ich vilst kacken in a hut, I'll be sure and smack it down right on your Nisht Azuy Git Stoopid Farookin' Brillo Pad, I Mean Hair.

Gei essen scheisse, tsibile-kup.

Erica said...

Efsher, ich vill kacken in a Yankees hut, hahahaha!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oyen!! Hablen ingles! Que rayos?!!

Jimbo - PRS said...

Please ignore the Wiseass Jooette's insane outbursts. I undersrtand that this can happen when one lives a life without ham.

Erica said...

That's it, bro. I've put up with more than enough from you. I've been gentle, I've said nice things, I've deferred to your expertise in Matters Alcoholic.

For that last quip, your Old Wrinkly Ass is so getting Photoshopped, and mark my words, Man Boobs and a Brooklyn Dodgers Cap will be involved.

[Hi Joanie...you see how he hits below the belt, right? Uncivilized feigeleh that he is.]

Erica said...

And, btw, you can take your disgusting Taylor Hams, and shtup 'em up your heiney.