Dec 6, 2007

They Also Pay Me To Do This

My work load today:

  1. Scrubbed and washed an 18-foot tall, hard, naked man.
  2. Went to a restaurant supply store to buy a table skirt: $100.
  3. Did the writing, layout and artwork for a publication.
  4. Swept a sidewalk.
  5. Operated a scissor-liftcherry-picker.
  6. Bought $426 worth of champagne.
  7. Found a mistake. A big one. Not my mistake, however.
  8. Was asked to supervise my own boss and two other men trying to figure the aesthetic placement of cement benches.
  9. ...and retired a parachute.

How was your work load today?


Mark said...

Typed up screen dimensions for a proposal.
Drank coffee.
Called screen company and faxed over dimensions.
Drank coffee.
Invoiced. (brings the money in).
Went through the mail. Decided not to pay bills (makes the money disappear).
Drank more coffee.
Got prices for the screens. Nearly shit (wood replacements for a Victorian home).
Thought about organizing the garage and my tools.
Drank coffee.
Said fuck it, it's raining. It's warm inside.
Drank coffee.
IM'ed my bud in Australia.

I'm exhausted. I think I'll go0 take a shower.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Man, the self-employed are soooo insufferable!


Anonymous said...

Contracts. Big ones. Little ones.

Sweeping a sidewalk in warm weather would have been more fun.

Jim - PRS

Mark said...

LOL, Joan. It's a love/hate thing. I love these odd down days because I get some shit done, but don't sweat it too much, but I hate that niggling feeling that I am not WORKING. It's that damn work ethic that makes it impossible to really relax. Aw, well, it's back to the grind tomorrow so...

Irrelephant said...

You know how to drive a scissor-lift. COOL! One of my finest moments in life was teaching a self-professed non-working woman how to drive an electric stand-up forklift. Without either of us shedding blood.

Jean said...

Since the lay-off, the rest of us are slammed with doing overtime 'cause we are now shorthanded for the work left to be done before our annual Christmas shut-down.
Now, we're taking bets to see if the next lay-off will be before Christmas or in January. Yay!

Zombyboy said...

I want to see the layout for the publication. Which doesn't answer your question, but I'm all sorts of curious.

Web site updates
Job interviews
Redirecting UPS shipments
Write copy and finish layout for a MINExpo promo piece
Take out the trash

Holder said...

drank coffee
showed off my new guitar
learned to tune my new guitar YAY!!
Pissed off several students with my rapier wit.
gave a pop quiz
taught electron shell configuration (no blood spilled)
thought about bubble baths, chocolate vodka, and candle light
called parent about his son's dip falling out of his pocket
graded 225 papers and put in the grade book
tried to catch the boy smoking in the bathroom in our hall
broke up several makeout sessions

A typical day in high school

Mark said...

"called parent about his son's dip falling out of his pocket"

Is this a euphemism for his having exposed himself or???

Joan of Argghh! said...

VF, Mark. For a moment, there, I had to think about what she said, too!

Holder, you're doing the Lord's own work!

Me? I'm just scaring little kids.

Teresa said...

Let's see... today is slow because all the big stuff was finished earlier this week. Yesterday...

- drank a soy mocha (cause I'm a frou-frou kinda girl)
- worked on a new ftp transfer for one of our clients involving much back and forth emailing to be sure they were okay with the changes (don't want to cause brain meltage at the receiving end when things are slightly different than before)
- shoveled, sanded, salted, etc a sidewalk to provide people access to my side door (not that many people come to my side door... but there it is)
- wasted 45 minutes picking up a package from the post office because the mail lady didn't want to friggin' drive up my driveway and put it on the front porch - this would've taken her all of 2 minutes and really screwed up her schedule.
- more work looking for a particular record as requested by another client (think haystacks and needles)
- more ftp stuff different client
- long call about said needle in haystack
- emails about needles in haystacks after the needle is found.
- make dinner... drink wine... relax

Peggy U said...

Joan: That sounds like a fun and busy day. Are you sure you're a slacker? Also, I would kill for a cherry picker as I have a cherry tree whose cherries I can never reach.

Holder: No blood spilled? As I recall, when my son was learning about electron shell configuration he was practically crying blood!

My day so far: I cleaned up some cat puke, loaded the dishwasher, paid some bills, folded some laundry, cleaned the fish tank. Kind of dull, not stressful.

Erica said...


I edit anywhere from 25-100 of the most insufferable, poorly-written press releases, social announcements, and stories [the stories are usually pretty good].

I assign primadonna photographers business story assignments to shoot photos of businesses to go with the business stories I assign to the business story writer. Nine times out of ten, the business is uncooperative with either the photographer, reporter, or both.

If that's the case, I have to go all Brooklyn on their yuppie asses.

If it sounds relatively simple, two things should be taken into consideration:

A] I work for the most difficult, fickle, tempermental, bi-polar [we think]editor on the planet.

B] I prepare the work that has to fill up approximately 35 percent of 12 weekly newspapers, under neck-breaking deadlines.

I get paid shit for what I do, which makes the tasks at hand even more difficult to accomplish. I'm lacking a motivation factor, here.

Mark said...

"VF, Mark. For a moment, there, I had to think about what she said, too!"

Actually, when I posted that comment I had no idea what she meant. That sounded logical, though! LOL.

It didn't occur to me until later that she means snuff.

Hey look, another half day off. Maybe I'll go wash the truck since it's nice and sunny here on the West Coast.

LauraB said...

Got up, slugged down coffee with an evil look at dog.
Dog pits in pasture.
Dog looks for cat food - gets scooted away.
Makeup applied, clothing donned.
Litter-covered cat poop removed from maw of Cerberus.
Cerberus wipes poopy maw on clothing.
Resphigi on the way into work.

Which explains the generous glass of wine in my hand.

I love you guys!!

Joan of Argghh! said...

*in best Cesar voice* "You need to be the pack leader. When he is in a calm, submissive state, you know have taken control of his mind and he will relax..."

or, Kennel, kennel, kennel works, too!


Holder said...

THat's so funny about the dip, there was one of our very meek and mild teachers who asked, very increduously, "his what fell out of his pocket?" before turning a beautiful shade of crimson.

Erica said...


I just had to make that cute little face myself.

Don't mind me. 'Twas a rough night.

GUYK said...

Work...WORK? Who works? I thought that was why Bush wanted all those illegal immigrants in the country so we wouldn't have to work...

Joan of Argghh! said...

You been working too much! Sorry it was rough on ya, hon.

I was in high-heels for 12 hours straight yesterday. And on my feet in them, not sitting down.

Still, I smiled at the city commissioners, hob-nobbed with the Chairman of the Board and his V.P. of my company, made my boss proud of me, and effortlessly spouted off details and fended off criticisms and corralled a tipsy Italian sculptor as best I could before he thoroughly insulted the high muckity-mucks too much.

But the champagne was soooo good, it was almost worth all that pain! The applause and delight of the crowd, the smiling faces. Some days all the weirdness is worth it.


Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh sure, Guy, rub some lemon juice in that paper-cut we call a J.O.B.!

nonny said...

"Scrubbed and washed an 18-foot tall, hard, naked man. "

And you didn't call me? There I was thinking we where pals tut tut