Jan 30, 2008

Push-button Sperm

Via the Hoodlum at Scribal Terror, this medical marvel is just too good not to blog.

It's a grand idea, turning the sperm-spigot off and on at will by remote control.

The silicone-polymer valve can be flipped between open and closed positions with a pulse of radio waves. A set of conducting "fingers" on the valve act as antennae and convert the signal's energy into sound waves that travel through the polymer and create stresses inside the device.
To secure the device against accidental activation, the device works in a similar way to a car's remote key-fob. Each valve responds only to a radio-frequency signal with a unique code.

A Fob for the ol' Knob?

Sure, it's all a medical marvel until the neighbor opens the garage door and the next thing you know you have twins.


Ted said...

The hackers are gonna have a field day!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh yah. The article states that the Doctor will keep the fob in his office, so as to keep any accidents from happening.

Sheeeyah. Fine. Until the doc is out on the golf course and you and the old lady want to mix a little baby-batter.

Joan of Argghh! said...

And um, yeah. Hoping my son is still staying away from my blog.

How do ya'll think we got him to leave for college at 17 and never move back in? We just embarrassed him to death.

Mark said...

"Until the doc is out on the golf course and you and the old lady want to mix a little baby-batter."

Joan said baby batter!

Either that or he's on the golf course and he realizes that instead of turning off his golf-cart alarm he just gave your sperm the green light to inseminate the babysitter.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Hey! That wasn't me!

Okay, yeah. It was me. I'm on vacay, what do you expect?

Peggy U said...

Oh, Joan! I hope you never need to blackmail your son, because you just spent your ammo! Tell him he was a cute baby, though!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Read again, Peggy! Not my son. An anonymous pic from The Catfish.

I'd NEVER do that to my son!!