Feb 17, 2008

Do You Need This?

The perfect companion to your Subliminal Secret Agent recordings: The Submersible Secret Agent Car!

Rinspeed boss Frank M. Rinderknecht (52) is known for his extraordinary automotive creations. The acknowledged James Bond enthusiast and Swiss automobile visionary kept revisiting this scene in his mind over and over: “For three decades I have tried to imagine how it might be possible to build a car that can fly under water. Now we have made this dream come true.”

It's about time. It may seem impractical, but how long before drug smugglers figure out how to totally shake the Coast Guard by lowering the stern, hopping into their sQuba and quietly jetting into the mysterious abyss? A nice, movie-like fantasy.

But really, I don't see where it would be much use in most urban waterways. It's a drop top without a top. You'd lose all your cool cred by the time you resurface, covered in plastic six-pack rings, shopping bags, and condoms. You can just hear your hot date shrieking with horror when she flips the visor mirror to reveal fishing lures and seaweed in her $200 coif.

Still, as was mentioned in last month's Forbes magazine, the last 50 years really hasn't brought us much improvement in our transportation realities. No flying cars, no high-speed inter-city rails across the heartland. If anything, we're more comfortable and distracted than ever before as we stay pent-up in the confines of a beautiful vehicle embarking on a brutal commute, whether by land or air.

For as much a vehicle manufacturers are regulated and taxed, precious little is being left over for a complete redesign of our infrastructure. And there's no money to be made in mass transport. If there were, why aren't we all riding around in Disney Monorails? Because we all want to be alone with our DVDs, iPod ear buds, crying children, and Secret Agent flights of fancy. Our vehicles, for good or ill, have become home for our thoughts, work, entertainment, communication, and dining. Soon, the roads will be clogged with newer and larger conastogas. All that's lacking is some guy named Cookie making boiled coffee and slinging hash.

So let's just sink the whole idea of getting anywhere fast and just go for a swim.


Old Cloots said...

No flying cars

Actually, some flying cars were produced in the forties but the idea was scrapped due to lack of interest.

Frankly, the idea of the average Joe Commuter buzzing around like George Jetson scares the holy hell out of me...

Joan of Argghh! said...

Yeah, but the '40s were almost 70 years ago. 70 years!!

And yes, shades of "The Fifth Element" come to mind when I think of it, too.

Old Cloots said...

Imagine a bunch of Muslim terrorists with flying car bombs and how the hell would we secure our borders against that???

Teresa said...

I think, as bad as drivers are on the current roads, we shouldn't give them any excuse to leave the road and create mayhem either in the sky or underwater. I cringe thinking of these idiots here "driving" in either place.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Man, we are NO FUN AT ALL!!!


Kim said...

I love the goop in the coif visual.

Old Cloots said...

I have visions of sQuba drivers getting stuck on reefs, diving too deep to get back up, getting the bends from surfacing too fast, ad nauseum.

I say let 'em go where they want in their 6 million dollar death machines.

We are SO fun, Joan!

Irrelephant said...

*snort* Leave me to my two-wheeled flights of fancy--it's as close to flying as I care to get. All that falling scares the fishing lure out of me.

Mike said...

What's with you people?

I want one.

Anonymous said...

Too cool. I'd have the flying sQuba in my driveway. Well, uh, um, ah, as long as it had the muscle. What good is it if it don't go fast? ;~)

Teresa said...

"Man, we are NO FUN AT ALL!!!"

So you noticed that I posted my comment just after driving around town... *grin*