May 7, 2008

Nuggets from the 'Net

Best scatalogical aroma reference:


Best AmIdol observation, contestant category:

If you’re pregnant, and it’s a girl, don’t name her Jason Castro. It’s just mean.


Best AmIdol observation, judges category:

Paula makes strange noises that have little to do with the song.


The BEST opening line for a blog post EVAH:

Short Tony gives me a very satisfied look, like an Austrian who has just refastened his trousers having made a careful and contented tick on his clipboard against the words ‘Timmy the Dog’.


Best Mom Defending Her Daughter from Talladega Troglodytes. Just in time for Mothers Day. I swear this woman is teh awesome:

This guy is just talking for awhile and he was ok..kept his distance and all..but he hands me his empty beer can and says.."What do we do with these?" and I tossed it back to him and said, "That is what we do with these, because I'm not your trash wench." He keeps talking for a minute and tries again, with the same result. THEN, the asshole..slides it into my girl's chair, tries to cop a feel and asks for the THIRD time.."What do we do with these?" I snatched that beer can right out of her chair and hit him square in the face with it...and he got pissed. I thought my little ass was gonna be kicked for a minute....but the senior chief walked up behind my chair and just stood there and it all settled down. Tequila does that to me...which is a lie..I'm just that way anyway..but still.


And finally, Best Use of Obscure Animal Parts in an insult:

the polish that other woman put on sucked elephant asshair

3 comments:

Mr Lady said...

That is an astonishingly good list, and I am grossly flattered to be on it.

Irrelephant said...

Holy JEEBUS. *lol* "sucked elephant asshair." Wow. POETRY.

GUYK said...

BAWAHAHAHAHAHA