Aug 20, 2012

The Age of Outrage: 7 Words x 70

Let's just get this over with, shall we? And trust me, some of these have been written up by Serious People. Others are just the likely next step in this idiocracy. I've omitted any obvious euphemisms or pre-identified slurs.

The Rules: These especially don't have to make sense as being offensive on the face of it, they just have to have the ability to be misunderstood by weak minds, or overwrought by idle minds:

Black Jack, Black Magic, Black Gold, Blackouts, Black-and-Decker, Brownouts, Brownies, Renegades, Squalls, TP, Black Sabbath, Black Tea, Blackmail, Blacklist.

Dark Arts, The Dark Knight, Black Moods, Yellow Pages, Yellow Journalism, Chink in the Armor, China Syndrome, Blacksmith, Blackened Swordfish. Shadow Boxing. Shadow Government.

Jungle Gym, Monkey Business, LawnBoy Mower, Yellow Fever, Rice Paper, Slanted Opinion, Black Death, Black Lights, Niggardly, (you lose your job over that word), Spic n' Span, Bean Bags, Bean Ball, Spigot, Latin Vulgate.

Short-sighted, Short-changed, Dwarf Stars, Selling Short (trafficking in midgets, I guess.) Shorts. Midge Flies, Sweet Midgets. Belittle. Jockey Shorts (double-threat), No Small Feat.

Periodic Table, Lunar Cycle, Keeping Abreast, Ragtime Music, Jocular, (can't you just see that as being misunderstood as "tomboy" or worse?) Panty Hose, Garden Hoes and Backhoes. Man-agement, Mandatory, Mandate. Skirt the Issue. Congenital.

Jockey for Position, Dude Ranch, Stud Finder, Condominiums, Homo-sapiens, Fruit Flies.

Unbleached Muslin, Turbine, Gum Arabic, Chic, Muzzle, Towel Rack, Balsamic, Mosaic, Minuet, Terrified, Pigskin.

Cracker Jack, White Castle (h/t GuyK), Plain Vanilla, Cracker Barrel, WiteOut, White-out, White Pages, White Lily Flour, Pale as Death, White as a Ghost, White as a Sheet, Beyond the Pale, Ginger Snaps, Gingerly, Snow Job, Rube Goldberg, Judo, White Lightning, Pale Ale, and lastly, Little White Lies.

::Sigh:: I think this will keep the Language Nannies busy. Not quite up to 490 words yet, but you get the idea.


Update: I'm thinking we can't talk about Obama's "lightness" either.

15 comments:

Erica said...

This is an outrage! Discrimination! You've not mentioned the Pale of Settlement. Wait'll Abe Foxman hears about this. You gonna be in biiiiiiiiiig trouble.

KeesKennis said...

Is unbleached muslin black?

Jim - PRS said...

White bread, Black Coffee, India Pale Ale, Amber Beer, Yellow Jacket, Black and Blue ... off the top of my cruller.

Erica said...

uhm...chocolate vodka?

dogette said...

I find the word "stinkbug" offensive.

Nancy said...

How about:

Red head, Red Bull, carrot top, Little Red, Big Red, Strawberry Shortcake ( a two-fer!), Punkin (redneck for pumpkin,
Punkin head...

Kim said...

Fat Tuesday, fat back, fat chance, Jumpin' Jehosaphat, Large Marge, Big Lots, bigger the better, enormous deposits of adipose tissue...perhaps that won't work.

dicentra63 said...

Whitewash!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, my readers are goooood!

Hello, Dicentra! Long time no see. You are very welcome, and no, I won't tell anyone that you were here.

:o)

"strawberry shortcake" Heh.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Short shrift, short-stack, short-sheet, short-order cook.

Have we left out any other outraged groups? What about the Pagans and the Satanists and the Atheists?

And the Disabled?

C'mon people, think. This is vital for our Animal Farm Future!!

GUYK said...

which kind of disabled....? one pancake short of a stack? Or only buys a flip and leaves the flop.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

What can brown do for you? Okay, I know, that sounds retarded.

Sal said...

Ooooooh, Ben! You said retarded.
I'm telling.

Homogenized milk, homophone.
Knickers (don't get yours in a twist)

Anonymous said...

Your #20 just became a reality:

http://deadspin.com/5040753/espn-headline-writers-probably-shouldve-opted-for-something-less-chinky

Joan of Argghh! said...

Ha! Thanks, Anon! Chalk it up to Yellow Journalism?