Aug 19, 2008

Wherein I Make a Little Girl Cry

Honestly, I AM a disturbed individual.

There is a job listed with a "career recruiter" company, I should know better, but the job looks interesting, pays well, and is a reasonable commute to the big city up north. In fact, although it is in another city, it is closer to my little pirate town than it would be for other folks who are actual denizens of that city. Not a hard concept, really, for anyone who has ever looked at a map.

I send my resume as an attachment. Of course, my little laptop has Works, but not Word, so I dutifully save my resume as a Word doc and send it along. I get a reply from Kirsten(!) saying she can't open the attachment. *sigh* Thanks, Bill Gates. I'm pretty sure she can open it if she knew how to right-click and "open as." I could be wrong on that, but ennywayz, I resend as a copy/paste unformatted.

I get a phone call. "Hi, yes, I was just going to try to send you a third attempt," I say. She begins, "ah, yeah, well, I see you live in Pirate Town?" [You know, with that annoying affectation that everyone under 30 years old has, as though everything is a question, voice inflecting upward on the last syllables.] "Because this job is in Big City? and I was ..."

I quickly surmise that I no longer wish to speak to this child. Her tone is one of impatience as though she were talking to her mother. And I had just sent her my resume not 20 seconds earlier, which tells me she has seen nothing more than my address and has immediately picked up the phone to school me on geography and reading for comprehension.

"Thank you, I appreciate it, but I am no longer interested. Thanks." and I hang up. Yes, I was abrupt in terminating the conversation, and yes, I absolutely closed the door for further discussion. I AM MEAN!! But why waste my time or hers?

I actually get a follow-up email from Kirsten: "Thanks for hanging up on me. I appreciate it. I was just letting you know where most of our positions are. Have a wonderful day!!!!!! :) "

Yeah. Exclamation points galore and a smiley face.

Oh, this girl cares way too much to let it go, or even be professional. And she is a so-called "executive placement recruiter."

I reply, "I did not hang up on you. I interrupted you, thanked you, and ended our conversation abruptly, without need of a reply. I don't remember inviting a response from you, then or now.

I will consider any further response from your office to be unwelcome harassment."

Good goshawmighty, I wouldn't hire me.


mushroom said...

No day in which you have slapped the snot out of a recruiter or any HR person is entirely wasted.

Oops, I almost forgot -- with all due respect to HR people and recruiters.

pamibe said...

Don't you wish walking the beach with Pepper dog paid money? Bring a metal detector next time and maybe it will. ;)

Okay, you can make me cry now. LOL!

GUYK said...


dogette said...

There are so many Kirstens in the world in need of a good verbal slap. Thank you for taking care of that one for us.

I had an encounter with Kirsten's sister here once. She was on the counter at a landscaping supply place.

I pointed out that the delivery guys did NOT spend an hour at my house. More like 15 minutes. I didn't want to be charged for one hour.

Kirsten's sister kept insisting they were there an hour. I denied it. Back and forth, back and forth. I had been home and timed the whole thing.

In the end, Kirsten's sister was mature and professional as she refunded me for the labor over-charge:

She kept saying, in a sing-songy little voice: "Well I hope you're HAPPY. I hope you're HAPPY."

Yes, like a taunting little brat.

I left and never returned, having a good customer for a few years.

I'm Dogette and I approved this Boring Story.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I blame you, dogette, you're a bad influence on me. Her name wasn't really Kirsten, but does it matter? It was an annoying guy-name spelled with an "i" on the end. Much worse.

And now that I've assured no Kirstens will ever visit here again, I shall turn my attention to ...Kaylees who are not yet old enough to hire me, but old enough to ruin a good dinner.

Robin Starfish said...

Joan, you're a role model. I quit my job on Independence Day because I couldn't stand working with children/idiots for another minute.

Still not sorry and never again. Life's too short.

Today's really long though.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Robin! Bite your tongue! I'm a turrible role model. I'm broke, mean, and too jaded to make a good employee ever again.

I guess I'll go back to my art work.

Suzette said...

I rebuke the exclamation point. It is a feminine device and it reeks of desperation. One is bad enough, and although using multiples for emphasis is (marginally) acceptable, a cluster of five activates my gag reflex.

Jean said...

go back to your art work??... now, that's a damned good idea!

KeesKennis said...

Jeebus, can't some car spraypainting shop hire you to lick the old paint off?

Joan of Argghh! said...

Heh. Nah, Keesie. They'd like to keep some metal on the car.

Erica said...

My daily life, between the ass maggots who call me telling me they think they have a good news story, and haughty press relations peeps...I've seen and heard it all, and 99 percent of the time I win people over with a manipulative kindness one simply would not expect from me.

I am gentle, patient, and kind, even to the dorkuses "with that annoying affectation...voice inflecting upward on the last syllables."

It has been a pet peeve of mine for upwards of 17 years, since I first discovered my EX-best friend had it a bunch of years ago (I overheard her making phone calls from her job), and didn't know how to tell her: "Speak like a Gottdamned PERSON!"

Now, when I get one on the phone, I take care of whatever business I have with them, we hang up, I tell my co-workers, we make fun of people who talk like that for a few minutes, and then we all move on.

Builds character, that sorta patience. :-) Although, abruptly terminating phone conversations with these doofuses...that works too.

Paul (aka Joan's son) said...

See, that's the nice thing about working in a kitchen. If you're not shrieking at someone with a definite gleam of murderous intent shimmering in your eye (not to mention razor-sharp, bone-splicing steel in your hand) at least once a day, people will start to think that you're losing your edge... No real room for office politics. If someone doesn't like you, you'll hear about it quick and in-your-face.

Why did I ever work in a cubicle?

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh Erica! I hope you won't be discouraged when I tell you I was just like you, when I was your age. Except I was doubly so. Incredibly sweet, giving, and prided myself on problem-solving and customer-calming, on being the better person. Never cusssed, either.

At a certain age and sense of myself I finally said, "Fuck it."



Joan of Argghh! said...

Paul, what have I told you about speaking out loud?

But I'm going to nominate you for Hell's Kitchen. I figure you're well-prepared for that show.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible for females to be considered "geezers?" Go ahead Joan! Geezer power!
PS: I'm with you all the way on that voice inflection end-of-sentence bit with the implied inference:"Understand, stupid?"

Holder said...

Hey, I've made two 14 year old girls cry this year, it's a record for meafter only 12 days of school.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Heh. 14 y/o girls cry? Fish in a barrel!