Nov 20, 2008

Make the Holidays Bearable


I know some of you slackers have family "issues" during the Holidays. You're not fooling me. And the rest of us are facing dwindling resources and vanishing home value just as we are about to celebrate the holy season of Kwanzaa. It's enough to make you ... well, it's plenty of enough.

Time to take action. Buy one of these and just dare Attorney General Holder to make a grab for it. Let the fascists know you're not gonna comply with their demands. Aim it at the television and fire off a few rounds every time some talking head uses the word, malaise.

Best of all, keep whiny nephews and humorless in-laws at bay with some serious firepower that won't land you in jail. Behold the glory that is NERF N-Strike Vulcan EBF:

h/t: Uncrate

I can't think of a better bang for the buck, at $43.00. think of the fun you'll have hunting down lost bullets behind couch cushions, under the wardrobe, in the dog's poo...

Buy one today! Do your part to kick-start the economy and fund my retirement, because I want to pour my 401k stock into Hasbro. They are far more in touch with the national mood than the RNC.

8 comments:

pamibe said...

I want one! No, two. Arthur must have one as well...!

Last time we were at Target with the kids he and I grabbed a couple and started stalking each other in the aisles... we are so not good role models...

folly said...

We have Nerf guns at the house as well. We each have one, and my wife got one from the kids for Mother's Day. We have Nerf battles a couple of times a month.

We also keep them at work and shoot executives when they come around.

I will definitely be buying one of those.

And Pam, as long as you're teaching them proper stalking and tracking skills, you're great role models. :)

Zombyboy said...

I can't even tell you how much I want one of those. When I first saw the ad for that thing I wondered why the hell no one made those when I was a kid.

Might get one for my dad for Christmas. It's one of those things he probably won't appreciate, but it would help make up for all the cool toys he never bought me when I was a kid.

That probably only makes sense to me, though...

Joan of Argghh! said...

Zomby, you're not allowed any firearms until you're fully recovered from your trip.

Folly and Pam, you sound like fine sorts of people with lucky kids.

We just bought our boy a bunch of camo clothes and legos. Of course, fireworks were legal in Mexico. It's a wonder he didn't blow his fingers off.

Paul said...

In Mexico, 'fireworks' = 'quarter stick of dynamite'.

No one seemed to have any qualms about selling ludicrously powerful explosives to 8-year-olds south of the border. People seemed to have even less qualms about setting them off in large crowds of people. In the states, we'd call it an act of terrorism. Down there, they call it 'independance day'.

Of course, this is the country that has a national holiday that is celebrated with nation-wide water fights (u will b pwned by my w@t3r bal00n! w00t!)

And really, you should have worried less about my fingers and more about the cat...

Joan of Argghh! said...

The older you get, the more you confess, oh my son!

I wonder if I'll live long enough to hear about the mooning-the-cops incident.

:o)

PeggyU said...

We will probably buy more Legos. Oldest son once made an operating machine gun out of Legos, so there is some versatility there. Of course, if you lack creativity you can always just throw handfuls of them at your brother.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Next up: the nerf gatling gun!
With quarter sticks of dynamite for those hard to get hiding places!