I know some of you slackers have family "issues" during the Holidays. You're not fooling me. And the rest of us are facing dwindling resources and vanishing home value just as we are about to celebrate the holy season of Kwanzaa. It's enough to make you ... well, it's plenty of enough.
Time to take action. Buy one of these and just dare Attorney General Holder to make a grab for it. Let the fascists know you're not gonna comply with their demands. Aim it at the television and fire off a few rounds every time some talking head uses the word, malaise.
Best of all, keep whiny nephews and humorless in-laws at bay with some serious firepower that won't land you in jail. Behold the glory that is NERF N-Strike Vulcan EBF:
I can't think of a better bang for the buck, at $43.00. think of the fun you'll have hunting down lost bullets behind couch cushions, under the wardrobe, in the dog's poo...
Buy one today! Do your part to kick-start the economy and fund my retirement, because I want to pour my 401k stock into Hasbro. They are far more in touch with the national mood than the RNC.