Jun 30, 2008

My Vote-getter? The Man in the Poncho.

When there's a Real Man running for President, you gotta be thankful for the opportunity to vote for him!

Go and show your support!


I'd run for President myself, in this climate.
My campaign slogan: "You could do worse. Heck, you've already done worse!"

At any rate, there's nothing shameful any more except for politics itself, so I guess my ignoble upbringing and tales of secret heartache and shame wouldn't make much of a headline. And I'm a good project manager, know how to delegate, and I could promise not to actually do anything. At all. Nuthin'. Except for maybe nuking Iran. I'd be known as the Vacationing President. I'd show up somewhere and declare a party! And veto anything that wasn't about allowing offshore drilling and Anwar development.

h/t to HossierBoy.

OMG! OMG!!1!!


The incomparable Suzette is dishing on the Hildebeast and Obama today. Screw the official news accounts. You can't live through the tedium of the so-called Unity Rally without the delicious Snark of the Fashionista Fatale giving us a runway rundown on this political couple. She's got some great links in there, too.

My verdict? They're staying together for the sake of the kids.

Meanwhile, I totally have to yoink this pic from her collection because it's crying out for a Caption Contest:


I'll bet she locks her car doors when she cruises into Obama's neighborhood, too.


Apropos of nothing, I wonder who has the better political machinations? The Clintons' proven Arkancide Squad, or Obama's Chi-town Shushers? Might be a good idea if they both watch their back.

Jun 28, 2008

Light Reading for Your Sunday Morning


Thanks to the gang at Uncrate for suggesting such an unsettling confirmation of so many groundless fears.

Jun 27, 2008

Happy Father's Day, Billy Ray Cyrus!


Dear Miley Cyrus:


One question. Where was your Dad during this photo shoot?


Miley Cyrus is 15 years old. The photo above is fairly tame in technicalities, and horribly over-sexualized in the details; mostly the makeup and lighting. It's raw and unnerving. Vanity Fair, indeed.

This picture can't even be construed as a young innocent girl on the verge of womanhood; there's not even a hint of innocence or young modesty. She stares boldly at the camera and either has no idea what someone has talked her into, or she knows exactly what sort of response a picture like this will evoke in the male psyche.

Either way, Dads were invented to forestall and avert this sort of dilemma for young girls. Dads know a thing or two that 15 year olds do not know about men. Well, most Dads.

What do I know? I mean, I remember a Polaroid picture of me posing on the diving board in my bikini when I was 15. Smiling like an idiot, goofy and unsure, cute and maybe a bit flirty... but the modesty was evident and appropriate. A young woman on the verge perhaps, but not yet ready to look like I'd spent a disheveled night between the sheets. Gah!

No little girl deserves to be looked upon like a slut before she is one.

But maybe I'm wrong on this. I mean, look where it got Brooke Shields.

What say you: Is this pic Trailer Trash or Art? Would you let your daughter pose like this?


Jun 26, 2008

It's Possible That I Don't Know Everything

No... that can't be right.

Jun 24, 2008

Horse Latitudes

The whole of the blogosphere is suffering from the Summertime Blues. The becalmed winds and slack sails are just enough to make bloggers want to start tossing the oaters over the gunnels; pitching and yawing toward the ill currents of a national election that no one is excited about.

Just this week I know of more than three bloggers whining about their readership going down. One even quit outright. (Okay, he didn't exactly quit...) Heck, everyone's hits are going down. If they tell you different, they're either lying or they're posting pics of girls in summer bikinis to keep 50% of the hits at least.

Meh. In the long days of summer, it's too tempting to be outside and carpe the damn diem. Once back inside, the temptation is strong to sit back and be entertained by someone else's writing while one sips tasty vodka novelties. Problem is, everyone's got the same idea: why write?

It's dead, Jim.

Millions of bloggers in sync with the drag of nature's annual Global Warming: Summer.

So, being lazier than a bluetick hound on a Tennessee porch, I decided to just steal a meme that's not too taxing. El Capitan stole it from someone else, so I'm just gonna ape the Baboon Pirate and go with it. I may even be too lazy to put in my own answers on each question, so I'll leave you to wonder...

In a Word:

1. Where is your cell phone? purse

2. Your significant other? gloating

3. Your hair? fabulous

4. Your mother? valhallah

5. Your father? lamentable

6. Your favorite time of day? Night

7. Your dream last night? sleep

8. Your favorite drink? tall

9. Your dream goal? attainable

10. The room you’re in? colorful

11. Your ex? nonexistent

12. Your fear? conquerable

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? content

14. What you are not? finished

15. Your Favourite meal? shared

16. One of your wish list items? This

17. The last thing you did? typed

18. Where you grew up? barn

19. What are you wearing? smile

20. Your TV is? Dead

21. Your pets? goofy

22. Your computer? bitchin'

23. Your life? surprising

24. Your mood? mellow

25. Missing someone? Paul

26. Your car? Jetta

27. Something you’re not wearing? out

28. Favourite store? Dollar

29. Your summer? mahvehlous!

30. Your favourite colour? Red

31. When is the last time you laughed? today

32. When is the last time you cried? hellifIknow

33. Your health? comfy

34. Your children? talented

35. Your future? inevitable

36. Your beliefs? mine

37. Young or old? young

38. Your image? unsalvageable

39. Your appearance? summoned

40. Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? differently

Jun 22, 2008

It's Not That He's a Black Person--

(Cross-posted at The Line is Here.)


It's that he's the stupidest person to ever run for President, and I think this cartoon sums up the Dim-o-crats pretty succinctly:



h/t Theo Spark


Nevermind that 90% of Americans would have no problem voting for a black man, it's scary to me that even 20% of people could vote for someone so gobsmackingly stupid...

Also, I say that Obama doesn't get to choose his ancestry for us, and say he's "black." He can make a statement about the culture he embraces for his own, but he's just as white as he is black. He may as well be Ward Churchill, ascribing himself a tribe and an identity because he says so.

He has not had the "authentic" black experience --whatever that is-- of the U.S.; he was raised as a person, as far as I can tell, and not as a "black person kept down by the racists," which he would do well to return to.

I could respect him, as a "person," but he is just another political hack using race as a leg up.

Black voters who who want to embrace Obama's manufactured blackness are free to do so, and somehow that makes him authentic in their eyes. Love is blind, and all that. But nothing will change the fact that, as a "person," he's just another Chicago political player who has never been tested in the fire. Being married to an angry and unhappy woman doesn't count.

Oh he thinks he's been tested, and Brokaw is never going to cross the Rubicon of his career and throw a hard question at a black man, lest he seem racist. Obama's already paving that path pretty thickly, that's how scared he is of a real question that doesn't contain the phrase, "as a black person..."

But let Walter Williams or Thomas Sowell have a crack at him. Let them question his experience, black or otherwise. Let them quiz him tightly on financial policy, social equity, and foreign experience, and truly slimy associations with really awful people. Let them look him in the eye when he starts spinning a whopper and have them give him the thrashing he so thoroughly has been denied. (Note to the media: you're a bit too late to be thrashing Bill Clinton so long after the fact. It's not that you're just now seeing his weaknesses, you're just now tired of them since he affords you no access to power. Not that I'm complaining; dogs and fleas and all that.)

Obama is a bit old to be so untried as a man. He may yet be a man, even a good man, but how can he know? He's stayed in the middle of the pack, played safe, and surrounded himself in an echo-chamber for 20 years. Any man of any color would be easily picked off in the early rounds with such a personal resume.

Too many easily-opened doors, preferences, deferences, and soft-ball media interviews have made the man arrogantly overconfident of his ability to grasp things. His political tinnitus keeps him from hearing the heartbeat of his own conscience and he's losing himself to his handlers and his own fantasies of what he thinks the job is going to take. The media is doing us no favors in protecting this guy.

Maybe America will wake up and realize that a President should be smarter than a fifth grader. But with an electorate that increasingly proves itself unfit for a game show, I don't hold out much hope for that sort of change.

Is June Over Yet?

Today is the J.R.'s birthday, and tomorrow is our 29th Anniversary.

Whadday think: should I quit introducing him as my first husband? Too soon to tell?

And what's it like being married to Ms. Argghh! for forever? What did the poor guy do to deserve such a fate? Ah... you'll have to ask him yourself.

But today, I am a Goddess, a Queen, a Rock Star -- his words, not mine. Says it's his best.birthday.ever. He doesn't even mind the sunburn!

You may leave the Jolly Roger your best birthday wishes and/or deepest sympathies in the comments.

Jun 21, 2008

Oh Wait... One Other Thing--

Just in time for Jimbo's return from Hawaii, we have three new flavors of Three Olives Vodka to sample. Check it out:

Can you get over it? Triple Shot Espresso, Tomato, and Root Beer!

Talk about some great poolside summer flavors!

Maybe hafta try something like a Root Beer Float with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, a shot of the RB Vodka, and a bit of seltzer, or IBC Cream Soda.

Then I'd hafta try the 3-shot with the Chocolate Vodka and a scoop of Chocolate ice cream in a martini glass. Then I'd hafta try that combo with vanilla ice cream.

Need to get that lush on the Food Channel, Sandra, to help us come up with more recipes. I think I have a summer project to work on now!


People, I'm a Visionary


But I didn't go this far in my previous post about Bacon... behold, Bacon Flavored Floss:



Yeaahhp. Seems you just can't go overboard on bacon.

Last Fall my D.I.L. introduced me to Bacon Flavored Chocolate. Which didn't taste terrible.

But I think I'd rather my breath and the places between my teeth were minty fresh, thanks all the same, Uncrate.

Okay, that's all I got. I'm just tossing the floss out there, ya'll just go on about your day.

Oh, and keep the dog outta the bathroom if you actually use this stuff. Just try explaining to the vet why your pet has a wad of floss obstructing his digestive tract.

Jun 20, 2008

West and East

Thursday evening, looking west:


Looking East, the Blue Dog is listening for dolphins:



Don't forget to check out all the friendly Friday critters at The Ark!

Jun 19, 2008

Puppy Love


I swiped Suzette's puppy pic and I post it here because this has got to be one of the huge-mongously most perfectly predictable indicators of the Aww-Factor Response:



Go over and congratulate her. The little guy is awaiting a name...

Jun 16, 2008

Your Questions Answered!

My most favorite Left Coast thinker, the 'mouse, has once again piqued my brain-pan synapses into blogging overtime. And once again, I find my comments more insightful than my post. (I should start a feature called, "Ask the Slacker." )

I think that's as it should be, really. Because what good is blogging if all you have is an echo-chamber? I like to think and consider, and like to be challenged to "come up higher" in a conversation. I don't always succeed, but I always benefit from the conversation, even if my esteemed colleague walks away shaking his head!

The 'mouse asked me for my thoughts on Ayn Rand. How delightful, since it's been years since I read her, on my own, and have rarely discussed her philosophy with anyone. So, my answer was so long and tedious I thought, "Blog fodder!" Lucky you...

Well, Ms Rand was a good palate cleanser for me years ago. I admit to running to Wiki to refresh the details. However, I am glad I read The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, for I will never forget how they "hit" me.

The enormous chasm of aching emptiness at the center of her books left me with little to take away for the long term. I think that her portrayal of a man realizing his own selfish potential is inspiring on the plane of the ego, and unrealistic in the real world of relationships.

Her passion for the pure gave her some fantastic insight while depriving her of the healthy skill of finding perfectly lovely things in the imperfect presentations that life affords.

She was not so much wrong as too quickly satisfied with her own answers. When her "hero" lover in real life acted in his own selfish interest--one that did not include her, she labeled him irrational. It belies her heart, her disappointment, her earth-bound soul. I think that's the yawning abyss of incompleteness I felt in her writings, too. Too pat, too perfect, and set up so as to hide from a life so grand and rich terrible and awe-full as the one we have.

I think that what works in her philosophy on the scale of government does not easily translate into the personal. Which is why I am tempted to be a libertarian. Her philosophy in the books I read possibly misses the dynamic tension of of the Relationship and the Rule; that sticky wicket of irrational rationalizations that most folks clothe themselves in just to move through the land-mines of job and spouse and unspoken expectations. Not unlike the age-old problem people face in their search for religious Truth.

****

The world is a messy place. Some of us who clean up after it, can mutter about the mess, and even know what caused it and how to eliminate most of it. But it doesn't keep us from our compassionate task of picking up the pieces, helping where we can. Many folks of other philosophies take offense at anyone pointing out a problem and muttering a solution, as though it makes the sighted person guilty for seeing. Or hateful for speaking.

Persons constitute a family, from whence flows love, accountability, and forgiveness. That's the job of Relationships, whether familial or communal. The Government never can be a person, a family or a compassionate entity. Nor should it be.

I could, with very little stretch, take the scenario of the poor wretched dog being conditioned to pain, and relate it to the taxpayer who is asked to suffer just a bit more financial pain for the sake of the Social Experimenters and their jobs. But I didn't, you'll note. This isn't about my pain, it's about the poor who are made so, through the ghastly aberration of Government as a Relationship. I can only visualize it as the alien in Men In Black, who puts on a human skin to hide his agenda.


You can't have a relationship with an agenda. You can only subject yourself to it.


Or draw up your own and follow it.


Jun 15, 2008

Learned Helplessness

What follows here is long question about asking the right question about available answers.

I was thinking about Hope and Change. No, really! And this is not so much a political question as a moral query regarding our responsibility as Social Experimenters.

Briefly, as a sort of background to my thoughts, years ago an experiment was set forth to understand behavioral conditioning. Some dogs were put in a shock-grid kennel with a barrier that they could jump over to escape the pain. All of the dogs figured it out. However, other dogs had been placed in a hammock that they could not escape and were subjected to painful shocks until they learned to put up with it, and suffer quietly. When placed in the shock kennel, they didn't move, just endured and waited for the pain to stop. The above experiment even proved that when placed in a new situation with no danger of pain, the ingrained helplessness of the conditioned dogs kept the poor creatures from even attempting escape.

It breaks my heart to read of poor dogs being shocked, and whimpering and putting up with it. Hopefully, it broke the hearts of the Experimenters, too.

Now, this observation has been used to describe why people put up with abuse in their relationships. I don't want to overstate or extrapolate the results beyond reality, but learned social conditioning to hopelessness is not easily overcome. And it's incredibly painful to watch.

So why are so many politicians eager to be next in line to experiment on a whole new generation of subjects, when we already know the outcome of such speech and conditioning?

Rats!

Perhaps you've sat through many a pep-talk about hope, as a member of a church or organization. So you'll be familiar with the uncertain "experiment" with drowning rats. If not, it goes something like this: rats were placed in a deep barrel with water that was over their heads. They had no hope of escaping the slick sides of the barrel so they could only tread water. For days, it seemed, because they had a strong will to survive. Just before succumbing to exhaustion, so the story goes, the experimenter pulls the rat to safety. A short while later, the experiment is repeated with the same rat, which now has even more stamina to survive, knowing it will be rescued, thus treading water even longer than the first time.

I don't know if that's true, but it is always used as a metaphor for the incredible transforming power of Hope. Well and good, I suppose. But no one has ever tried my hypothesis on this behavioral conditioning. I posit that, there is another scenario to be explored. Take the same poor rat and rescue him long before he reaches exhaustion and pain. And then do it again. And again. Over and over.

Then, put him in the barrel one day and let "disaster" strike. No rescue arrives! I'd like to see how long the conditioned rat survived compared to a non-conditioned creature. But there is no need to do this particular experiment on rats because it's being done on humans every day.

Is any politician that has set out to be a savior of the Human Condition ever called in to see the suffering they're causing by teaching poor creatures that there is no way out of their condition unless they vote for him? The devilish Hell they create with soft landings and cheap salvation keeps people in that hammock of helplessness and a mindset of misery or false hope.

What sort of perverted satisfaction is gained by pretending that one's political camp, ideals, and personal ambition are the only recourse of Hope and Change for real human beings? Especially when you have no intention of actually helping them toward independent living.

Every day I see people who have learned their helplessness because they only know that if they wait long enough, someone will turn off the shock and remove them from their situation. They are bound by a hammock of relative comfort that doesn't hurt them, and keeps them from hurting themselves, but doesn't allow them escape from their circumstances. Fed and sheltered, yes, but still objects of their Experimenters. Rescued, yes. Only to be put right back into the water.

And then lied to about who put them there.

So they half-live, whimpering and suffering; their only "work" is to get the next hand out. It's really not all that relaxing, either, although those of us who happily live outside the Experimental Labs are tempted to wish for such beautiful "care" where we don't have to work or sweat in a daily grind.

But, to set such experimental subjects free from the lab is to condemn them to further degradation and defeat, as they are unprepared for survival, and can only await rescue, again and again. No, as appealing as it may be to entertain thoughts of abandoning them to their fate, we cannot walk away from what we have created with foolish policy. We must assume the moral responsibility for our own stupid choices for representation in government.

My question is, if I haven't greatly strained the behavioral parallels, is there any hope for real change for a generation of people who have been conditioned to their lot by their social leaders? Especially those leaders that wish to continue the so-called experiment so that they and their friends can have a job?

It goes back to creating clients. You can't keep your job if you don't have clients.

What is our responsibility for having elected such leaders locally, and nationally? We can't just stop the experiment without providing new conditioning.

I see a whole new set of jobs to create, so no one has to worry about job security. However, I'd like to populate the social re-engineering with folks who know how to survive on their own and can teach others to do the same.

I'd have to name Ted Nugent as Secretary of Self-Reliance and Independence. (Shut up! He's no crazier than Sheila Jackson-Lee or Jimmy Carter!) That's a social experiment I could endorse. Temporary pain, but with a full set of skills and guidance that bring true freedom, real self-confidence instead of phony self-esteem, and long-term satisfaction. A true pursuit of happiness.

Maybe the folks in Iowa could oversee such a huge project. Maybe we need The Boy Scouts welcomed back in our communities. Maybe we need to stop experimenting and get busy with what has been proven to work.

Jun 13, 2008

Eric ... Just... No, Dude


You'll look like Robert Ripley has stolen your Audi:




Unlucky Me!

Ugh. Stacy hates me, and so she keeps tagging me. Ill play along this time and see if it appeases her wicked sense of humor.


The Rules:

  • Link to the person who tagged you
  • Post the rules on your blog
  • Write six random things about yourself
  • Tag six people at the end of your post linking to their blog
  • Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
  • Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Herewith:

  • 1. I've painted my toenails red ever since Acidman passed away. I just find it to be the right and proper thing for my tootsies.
  • 2. I'm a better party guest than hostess. If you don't think that's important, just go ahead and have a boring party without me. Hmphfff!
  • 3. I'm a better commenter than blogger, apparently.
  • 4. I have sung to a crowded house--with a host of folks that spilled out into the street and nearby porches, in La Havana, Cuba. And I didn't need any stinking Che-Carlos Santana to back me up, Ms. Gloria Estefan. Eat your heart out.
  • 5. I have spoken to the sous-chef at the White House during the GHWB's administration. It seems Barbara needed a recipe for hot pepper jelly. Talk about speaking truth to power!
  • 6. I grew up around real mermaids. My sister's best friend was one.
I swear it's all true and now I tag you, all you Google-searchers looking for hyena-pit bull mixed breed puppies with blue eyes and red noses. Because, ya'll make me nervous.

.




Jun 12, 2008

You Done With That?

Just for the record, even after I'm dead, I am NOT done with it-- my bod-- thank you very much. And before I was breathing air, I was using it then, too. So, keep your mitts off of me, dammit!

I've thought long and hard about how I would like my remains to repose in the Big Sleep, and having some New Jersey dentist and his toadies hacksawing on my jaw is not part of the plan.

I thought, "how does someone come to think that this is somehow okay-- even for money?" Seriously, how did we get to this place of monstrosity? We pride ourselves as civilized folks who don't eat their dead or their enemies unless they are rugby players.

You didn't see that line get crossed, did you? Well, yes, you did if you've been alive longer than Atari.

But I'll ask you, Slackers, what little series of lines do you think get crossed in the human mind and heart, to bring someone to such a state? I'm not saying it's new, I'm saying it's not surprising:

God is dead.
What is ethical is defined by the situation. (Thanks, AP English teacher!)
Nobody knows when life begins.
It's not a baby, it's parasitic tissue.
Nobody should get the death penalty for taking another life.
There is no such thing as a soul, you superstitious religious freaks.
Life is precious, but we won't defend it or let you defend yourself.
We're no better, morally, than animals. Just a teeny bit more evolved.
In fact, animals are more moral than we.
Really, we are simply a virus on the planet.
We are just parasitic tissue on this planet. Meat bags.
Gaia is God.
And she hates you for being born and breathing her air.
So please die already so we can use your body parts.

or...

Maybe really it was just a simple case of New Jersey logic: "you'll pay me how much?!"

Jun 11, 2008

What A Field Day For The Heat

A thousand Haikus in the street.

Well maybe a couple of dozen. Just stop, children! What's that sound?

It seems to be Haiku Wednesday over at Sparrow's place. Everybody's talking about the heat, but nobody's doing anything about it. Except writing haikus about heat.

Go over there and play with words, children,-- and talk to strangers.

Watch for cars. Have fun.


Updated: from my Frozen Tundra correspondent and a favorite artist comes news of a snowstorm in June. That's not very helpful, Robin!

Jun 10, 2008

Bikini Therapy! or, You Need a Raise

Bikini Therapy. In light of my post below, and the synchronicity of the Internets, Glenn Reynolds just posted a whole new Medicinal Purposes category link:

Bikinis and other sexy stimuli can make men more prone to seek immediate gratification - leading to blown diets, budgets and bank accounts, new research suggests...

men alternately fondled t-shirts and bras. After touching the bras, men valued the future less and the present more...
And apparently, the pleasure center must be entertained if men are to become all that they can be:
they exhibited improved cognition and creativity after exposure to sexy stimuli.

Now guys, before you try to convince your boss that you need to surf pron at work, keep reading:

Van Den Bergh and colleagues rendered the bikini-effect powerless by satiating the stirred appetite with a different type of reward - financial security.

...

When the men felt well-off, the bikinis lost their influence. But if they considered themselves among the have-nots, they were likely to seek immediate gratification after seeing women running in bikinis.

So apparently, guys, there needs to be healthy doses of sex and money around, "for medicinal purposes."

You need a raise. *ahem* Science is here to help.

Medicinal Purposes

So what if I have emergency chocolate in my medicine cabinet? My particular choice contains almonds, an important and nutritious snack food. And lots of magnesium. It's a medical necessity; s0 shut up.

Some people keep "cough syrup" around for medical purposes. Uh-huh. I'm not talking about meth-lab crank fodder, just the ol' fifth of bourbon under the sink back behind the roll of trash bags. Man, did the J.R. and I have to sweet talk our way out of a situation when booze was discovered in our cabinets one time! Living in Mexico, it really was a medical necessity to have some sort of strong libation handy to break up the bronchial blockages caused by the smog of 20 million people and their cars. Nothing like black snot every morning to keep you alert to the danger around you! But it was a no-no in our line of work.

Just today I was thinking of how I strangely pick up chocolate in mass quantities every now and then. Not like, every 30 days, which would be normal. Maybe every 90. But it catches me by surprise because it's almost unconscious when I come home from Publix with 10 little packs of chocolate almonds because they were on sale 10 for $10. I just don't do that but a few times a year. I arrive home, unpack the groceries and go, wha... what? I can only conclude that it's my body taking over the inattentive mind. Must.have.chocolate.

'fess up. What do you keep in your "morality usually frowns on this" medicine cabinet that you would have to explain away? No, really, it's for the pain. Uh.... that's not mine... er... you would not believe how that just clears a cold right up! But secretly, you bought it and keep it handy, maybe more than handy, because some days the ol' bod just screams for Cheetos?

I think our bodies are smarter than we are, but we just don't listen all the time. What's that, body? We need key lime pie because our vitamin C deficiency is ruining concentration? Alrighty then!

Jun 8, 2008

ObamaNation: 6 Years On

River: merciful god please take me away! make them stop, they're everywhere, every city, every house, every room, they're all inside me, i can hear them all, all the politicians, and they're saying NOTHING!

Jayne: she's starting to damage my calm...She's right! Everybody's dead. This whole world is dead for no reason!

....

Dr. Caron: ...it isn't what we thought. There's been no war here. No Global Warming event. It's the Obama Hope and Change we added to the air. It's... well, it worked. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Make a peaceful... it worked. The people in the U.S. stopped fighting. And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work, stopped breeding... Mark Steyn tried to warn them...

There's 300 million people here and they all just let themselves die. ...When they stopped working, stopped fighting, it had the opposite effect on 10 percent of the Middle Eastern population. There are people... they're not people... They went the opposite way, their aggressor response increased... beyond madness. ...they've killed most of us... not just killed... they've done things...

Wash: Reavers. They created them.

Dr. Caron: ...we meant it for the best... oh God!


Jun 7, 2008

Hillary Lost Because She's (Still) a Married Woman

There. That needed saying.

And she's not just any married woman, she is a scorned married woman.

If she had dropped Bill eight years ago-- and not held onto him for political expediency like Obama held onto his church-- those sorts of women who would have liked to see her in the White House would have never gone swooning after Obama. But she kept him around and he kept humiliating her.

If this was sexism politics, it was particularly awful to watch. You kind of lose any respect for a woman who puts up with that sort of political undermining from her husband, or you outright admire her breathtaking ability to take a punch. But it doesn't make you think she's very smart. If she suffered from sexism, it was mostly coming from the other side of her bed. (Assuming normal conjugal conventions, of course.)

No. Her weakness is her own, and her strength is Bill. She can't Kill Bill without bankrupting herself. Maybe, by having forged her own political identity in this campaign, she'll find the support she needs to Do the Deed.

Plus, being a divorcee would endear her to quite a large constituency of feminists and their emasculated lapdogs in higher education. Alas, she would have had a lot more street cred if she had kicked her horndog to the curb during his presidency.

But she couldn't then and can't now. Politically, socially, emotionally, she has tied her dim star to his wagging finger.

She's a lightweight, even for a girl.



From the comments, the irrepressible GuyK writes:
Would I vote for a woman for president? Damn right..the right one I would. I have found that when it comes to raw courage and strength of convictions no man could ever out do a woman...but that is also the reason it would have to be the right woman..some woman who as Ronnie said about Thatcher..more balls than any man he had ever seen.

What Guy said. We can survive a mediocre man, but we can't survive a woman who is less than amazing.

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

Dear new recipient of a free home, dear builder, helper, sponsor, and other assorted dignitaries: I can't hear you. You probably said something nice.

Oh sure, you got an entire sound system set up for the 100 or so folks who have assembled to wish their new homeowner friends all the joys they can contain. You have two microphones. You have a sound man right next to them. And you won't step up to the microphone. We the assembled can't hear you from 20 feet away. Your gratitude, accolades, thank yous and jokes go unheard in the unbearable heat.

The preacher we heard. He knows his craft. So we heard him and heard him. Thanks. We now know we do not want to go to Hell because in this heat, after an hour of mummery and handshakes and unheard speeches, we get to listen to him go on and on as though he built the house himself. Can Hell be worse?

Even the token politician couldn't be heard. Must be an honest one. He only spoke for 3 minutes. I'm sure it was about funding. But he wouldn't step up to the mic.

IT'S 2008 FOR FREAKIN' CRIPES N' ALL! Haven't you been paying attention? Look, people. Look at singers on stage. Watch American Idol idiots with VERY LOUD VOICES. Do you see them shying away from the microphone, scared of the sound of their own voice? NO. BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE HEARD. They practically swallow the damn device and let the sound man worry about how loud it is.

Not ONE person, not even the sound guy at this function, asked someone to step up and speak into the microphone. Do any of these brilliant minds, homebuilders, politicians NEVER attend a function where the sound system sucks and they can't hear the morons who won't SPEAK UP?

Haven't YOU ever been driven mad by the stupidity of standing for over an hour listening to NOTHING? Obama rallies don't count.

I'm begging all of you, if you ever find yourself in charge of some function where speakers are going to address the audience, you simply must threaten them with the "hook" if they fail to speak up, and cut off the thumbs of your sound guy if he fails to pay attention. If you don't have the formality of a sound guy, charge one of your assistants to sit in the back of the room and make small gestures to you and remind you, in your moment of glory, to GET THE IDIOT TO THE MICROPHONE BEFORE EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP.

I don't want to hear shy, sincere people mumbling, no matter how sweet it all is. I blame YOU, Ms. Event Organizer! People only know they want the event to be special, but you folks in charge absolutely ruin it by neglecting the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF A CEREMONY WITH SPEECHES. It won't matter if the color of the table settings is perfect and the cause is heartwarming. YOUR EVENT IS A FAILURE OF COMMUNICATION in a world that has Mars rovers sending back stronger signals from 120,000,000 miles away.

In an ADHD world you have enough competition for folks' attention. Shouting, loud communication may not be perfect, but at least your audience can later tell you how much they disagree with what you said.

I'm warning you, event organizers. I will start to go numb from the shoulders up and begin talking with my table-mates and laughing at quiet jokes while you silently implore my better angels to do some thing, support some cause, or applaud some accomplishment. But no more. I will simply LEAVE.

If it's not important enough for you to even remember to make it a priority to assure that your agenda is heard, it's not important enough for me to suffer through one more rubbery chicken dinner to not hear it.


P.S. That famous line in the title was uttered by my mom's cousin, Strother Martin. No, really!

Jun 4, 2008

The Jolly Roger Will F*ck You Up!

I made him take this test. I'm just sayin'...







What Kind of a Western Bad-Ass are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Lee Van Cleef

You look like an accountant, but your steely glare and matching nerves make you a match for any hard-case out there.


Clint Eastwood



100%

Lee Van Cleef



100%

Charles Bronson



100%

John Wayne



88%

Lee Marvin



75%

Hmmm... I think we should all take some sort of Internet quiz pretending to be some other blogger, and then post the results with a tag to that blogger.

F'rinstnace: let's say that I'm taking this quiz for Jean, fair of face and fabulous with words: she, as a bad-ass Western hero came out as Charles Bronson. Now, not all the questions were befitting a lady like Jean, but that's just the way I roll. I think, yeah, Jean could take Sharon Stone , and teach her some manners.

So yeah. I'm declaring a meme. Tag. You're it.

h/t to Joated!

Hugo First (yeah, a repost, comment away!)

Click the pic to embiggen.


Bugs. It's what's for dinner.

I wanna see the environmentalists adopt this lifestyle before they inflict it on me. You know, the way Al Gore would never require us to live a lifestyle that he wasn't prepared to adopt for himself.

Bacon Bits (Reposted. Fixed Comment Thingy. Dork.)

Just thinking ahead to Father's Day, ladies.

Which makes me think: has anyone yet created a tie that looks like bacon? Hold on, brb...

Okay. I can't explain this photo, except Google thinks he's wearing a bacon tie:


No, I can't explain why he looks like an overweight screamer from a Batman and Robin Fantasy Weekend. Oh please, can't someone do better than this? There's got to be a goldmine oil well of money to be made on this, people. A tie. That looks like crispy bacon. And bacon aftershave. Bacon deodorant. Bacon jock itch powder.

No, men aren't pigs, but I bet they wouldn't mind smelling like they just smoked a pork belly. (Boy, does that sound... perverse. -ed)

Me, I kinda like for a man to smell of fine tabacco and good bourbon.


Thanks to Uncrate.