Sep 29, 2008

Important Stuff You Need to Know.

Yeah, yeah, our 401ks are in the crapper and I've got surgery tomorrow. What of it? There's bigger fish to fry, here, people:

Patrick Hughes is blogging again. He swears he's been domesticated now. Make sure you've had supper before reading. (Oh, and uh, PottyMouth Warning.)

Twenty Major is quitting his blog.
Blogging is crowding his smoking and drinking time. Besides, he got his book published so... yannow how that goes.

Frothing at LeMouse is alive, after all, even after Ike, and trees falling on her home.

And, most importantly, if you missed Talk Like a Pirate Day, or just don't know how to talk like a pirate, you may want to listen to a Good Pirate and catch a radio interview with F. Max Hardberger tomorrow on The Story with Dick Gordon. Check for local NPR listing or catch it later at TheStory. My super secret sources at the International Max Hardberger Headquarters tell me it's a be-there-or-be-square-rigged opportunity. Don't miss it!

Now, back to filling out my Living Will. Any suggestions, warnings, pitfalls, considerations I should be aware of?


Sep 28, 2008

I've Been Paying Pretty Close Attention for 30 Years...*

And in all that time that I've been politically conscious, as a Democrat and now disgruntled Republican-- in all that time that I've watched the mainstream media, I can't remember Republicans ever winning a Presidential debate, or a pre-election poll.

In 30+ years of watching the MSM I've apparently never seen our military perform honorably in a theatre of war.

The Media, since I've been paying attention, have yet to understand the definition of hypocrisy, thinking that any Republican with the temerity to uphold the Good, and who falls or falters in their quest of same, is a hypocrite. And yet Democrats who knowingly vote against their conscience, mock what is pure, and obfuscate any attempt to contrast their actions with their words are called clever, glib, articulate.

For the better part of a generation, I've never seen a Republican statesman praised or credited for any policy, plan, or legislative action. Any success is grudgingly reported with a thousand caveats and calls for caution.

I've never seen, in 30 years of watching closely, a disgraced Democrat resign as a matter of honor, to preserve the dignity of his Party. And I've never seen the MSM villify a Democrat for such self-serving behavior.

If I only watched the MSM, I would have to believe that Democrat politicians never lie and Republicans always do.

And that the MSM has never seen a Democratic judge rig an election, throw out votes, deny military votes, extend voting hours, or disallow dead voters. And if they have seen such a thing, well, it was just an attempt to provide equal access to the disenfranchised.

In 30 years of watching the MSM, I've rarely seen Capitalism lift entire groups of people out of poverty.

And I would have to believe that there was never a negative consequence of our selling technology to China, relinquising the Panama Canal (now overrun by the Chinese), or pandering to the Iranians after they held Americans as hostages for years.

I suppose I have to believe, also, that Nancy Pelosi's House is qualified to manage $700 billion dollars without any oversight or accountability.

I get it, now.

And yet, incredibly, we've had 20 years of Republican Presidents voted into office in these last 30 years or so. No wonder the MSM believes The United States is evil: it we just don't listen to them.

But when we listen for ourselves, this is what we hear:


(*Yes, I understand the meaning of hyperbole. I've watched hurricane reporting.)

Sep 27, 2008

New Equipment for Blogmeets

I can just see Jimbo and the Bodyguard packing this sort of ammunition to a blogmeet:










Damn, but that's a sweet get-up!

Where else but, Uncrate?


Sep 26, 2008

But of Course!


I could survive for 1 minute, 6 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor


I had years of practice growing up with 5 brothers and two sisters. Heh.

Great Big Fat Nevermind

The time-space continuum is safe for now.

The Large Hadron Collider has shut down until next Spring.

No, no, no. I'm sure the Collider's problems are not related to the financial meltdown we are currently experiencing. Pretty sure.

Don't be silly.

You don't think... ?

Nah...

Sep 25, 2008

Mockery is Easy. Comedy is Hard.

The world is filling up fast with mockers. Not comedians, just mockers. Our humor has become so politically grounded and one-sided, that most young people have been indoctrinated in mockery as a de facto life medium.

You'd have to be a student of Will Rogers or Shakespeare to understand how funny politics can be, without being partisan. Yeah, go Google up Shakespeare Politics and Will Rogers and you'll fare better than reading this blog, and may be smarter afterward. Who knew that, "All I know is what I read in the papers," would be the grimmest irony of all? That's comedy gold, however. Jam-packed full of Truth, in a few words, and it touches both shores of political life. No mockery is needed, because the painful truth delivered while twirling a lariat is just funny.

Today's comedian can only shove his hands in his pockets and jingle his junk while he raves on about what he thinks, never seeing the beautiful opportunity of incongruent realities. He'd never survive in a king's court.

Mostly, the mockers' brand of comedy carries the stench of predictability. An agile mind cannot be entertained by mockery; possibly it can be "a"mused, but not actually engaged. It's so easy to do when your target is bigger than you. Just point and shoot. Anybody can let mocking arrows fly, to the approving noises of the audience, but so few actually hit the mark of Truth. The twang of the string is all they really want.

Mockery is usually the weak man's ploy and can only be employed to any effect against a perceived threat. Which means that anyone tasked with upholding Hard Truth is a prime target for the jack-a-napes and mewling milquetoasts. With enough jackals, even the most powerful Truth can be rendered powerless.

But, it's best to keep a sunny disposition about national politics if you want to stay sane. An old preacher friend used to say, "Republicans lie. Democrats lie. I just happen to like one set of lies better than another."

And really? That's a healthy attitude, even in the midst of our current crisis. Even your most revered politician is likely lying to you, either out of personal expediency, or national expediency... or just because the truth isn't working.

The hearers have to suspend disbelief, or go mad with paranoia.

And I'd almost-- almost-- rather listen to a politician lying than a mocker mocking. Mockers haven't the gravitas of a Shakespearean jester. Jesters were a much better muse for the politically inclined, as their barbs were founded in the funniest thing around: Truth. And Truth is hard to come by; that's why comedy is hard and dying is easy. Tragedy writes itself without regard of life or circumstance, but Comedy needs an outside observer with a mind large enough to put A next to Z and come up with 42.

Mockery plays to the lowest of natures; the decaying intellect infused with self-regard. It is picked up by lesser minds-- more innocent, but culpably lazy-- and repeated with a sniggering snort and an email forwarding list of amoebic friends.

Or on a blog...



Sep 22, 2008

For Bane


They say, best men are moulded out of faults,
And, for the most, become much more the better
For being a little bad.
-Shakespeare

Ah, that little bit of "bad" is what we loved about him.

A great guy, talented writer, awesome dad to his kids, loving husband to his beautiful wife, and all-around bad-ass Original.

Farewell.

Overheard

...in the Pre-Op registration waiting room:

She: [filling out same forms I am] Allergies. Hallucinations. Honey, do I have hallucinations?

He: You married me, didn't you?
Heh.


Sep 19, 2008

Arrggh! There be Pirates in Buckhead!

Ye muckle bilge-rats! Seems I almost let the day get by without reminding ye to look smart and hoist up the er... hold there... hoist a bit o' grog and be scratchin' where it itches, mates!

The Jolly Roger is fairly two sheets to the wind already, and we're ready to take on Atlanta for the night.

Good night, me hearties, good dreams. I'll likely kill ye in the morning...

Sep 18, 2008

Keep the Kids Busy This Weekend








Last but not least, this is a bit longish, but the payoff is definitely worth it. You can get an idea of what's going on, and then skip to about the 4 minute mark for the real money. Oh yeah:

h/t haha.nu

You Guys Totally Rock

APPROVED!!! YES!

Soon, my pretties, I will be feeling mahvelhous and healthy. The last 36 hours have been a Purgatory for my soul, and I don't know that I handled it well, but I just got the news two minutes ago that, yes, they agree with my doctor that this needs to be taken care of right away, and have approved the operation.

I'm blubbing all over myself as I type. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I know it was the concerted prayers, good thoughts, and vibes that stormed the gates of Idiocracy for the win!

Now The Jolly Roger and I can attend the big Family Event in Buckhead, see the brand new great-niece in Atlanta, and have a peaceful and much-deserved long weekend.

Did I say thanks? Thanks!


Sep 17, 2008

Mismanaged Healthcare

Situation: My doctor says I need surgery and that right soon. Scheduled for the 30th.
Situation: Hub's employee insurance plan is underwritten by his Company.
Situation: Health management company basically works for the employer.
Result: Conflict of Interest
Surprising Phone Call today: Insurance company's doctor/screener refuses to pay for the surgery.
Primary reaction: tears, tears, hysterical sobs, tears...
Action: talk to a Dogberry of a nurse with insurance company who evades plain speech. Scream and cry with her for 2 hours over the course of 3 different calls.
Conclusion the First: appeal.
Secondary reaction from Doctor's Office: "that's effin' unheard of!!!"

It shouldn't take 2 hours to get to a simple point of: our screening doctor denies your need. You and your doctor can appeal this. Meanwhile, it took a month to get me scheduled for the end of this month. All that seems to have gone out the window.

I was so shook, I came home from work. Upon arrival here I find a letter stating that the imaging radiologist wants to smash my poor boobs one more time (after taking 2 tries a month ago) and wave a magic ultrasound over them.

I told him to go fuck himself, my girls are fine. [Mighty fine! -The Jolly Roger]

"Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

Can nationalized healthcare be any worse? If "self-insured" businesses handle it so cleverly, how much more a government beancounter who decides I'm too much of a liability? Hello AIG?

In the spirit of Dogette's cathartic, "Fuck Oprah" posts, allow me my own moment here.

Gimme a sec...

.

.

.

FUCK YOU, insurance companies!!!

Feel free to append this post with your own "moment."

Sep 16, 2008

The Waldo Ultimatum

I hate that I'm likely the last person to have seen this fine mockery of Matt Damon:

Crap-spackle!

Oh, nothing. Just posting this to declare the epithet above as my new favorite.

And yeah, I'm watching Futurama reruns because Fringe has already insulted my intelligence only 5 minutes into episode 2. Gah. I can write better melodramatic crap-spackle sci-fi while driving to work.


Fishie Voyuerism

Don't anyone tell Seamus about this:
















h/t to The Presurfer and

thanks to the WolfMistress for pointing me to that blog!


Sep 14, 2008

Democrats Do NOT Eat Their Dead

Just the family dog.



Sitemeter Suckage Updated

How Bad Does New Sitemeter Suck?
Storm Surge of Tidal Wave Suckage (apologies to Galveston)
Like a Septic Tank Dumper Pumper
As Bad as Windows Vista, but Slower
Like Beta Video Players
I Wish I Could Log In To Tell You
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: FTW!

Cane Fu Fighting

I'll allow it. Let's get it on...



Sep 12, 2008

Body Language


This is a still of the moment, the very moment before Kiddo plucks out Darryl Hannah's other eye. Cornered, overpowered physically, but never without an option.





This is a still of the moment just before Charlie Gibson was apparently blinded by a blizzard of 42 words.







See how Sarah has leaned forward, preparing for the strike, focused, a bit overpowered by media bias, but never without options...



"Charlie..." "Charlie..." She mesmerized him with his own name, over and over. Gawd I loved that!







Charlie would do well to get regular glasses that cover his eyes a bit better. But it is so lovely to look down one's nose, is it not?





This is the moment, the very moment, before Sorry Charlie's career is trod underfoot by viewers who still have eyes to see.




Y'know, politicians are in it for the money, but the Media are True Believers and thus much more dangerous. One should never leave themselves to the tender mercies of avuncular anchors.

Does Charlie believe he's the school principal, tasked with bringing an unruly cheerleader to heel?

Heh. In his dreams.


UPDATE: Charles Krauthammer owns "The Bush Doctrine" since he coined it, and agrees that Sarah Palin was right to question Gibson, "in what aspect," since it's morphed several times over the year. CK is not a hard and fast fan of Sarah, but I applaud him for defending her answer and schooling Charlie Gibson, yet again.

Best campaign season evah.


Sep 11, 2008

I Don't Do Well on Tests

I've seen this at several blogs and thought I'd post it before someone endangered themselves by tagging me. Finish the sentence:

1. My uncle once: moved into the Ocala National Forest and never came back out.

2. Never in my life: have I wanted to own a monkey.

3. When I was five: I suspected that life would not be easy. Some kinda savant I was...

4. High school was: a bad idea.

5. I will never forget: to close the bathroom door.

6. Once I met: my goals. It was kinda anti-climatic.

7. There’s this girl I know: and she's not me.

8. Once, at a bar: I let a man buy me a Coke. Just a Coke.

9. By noon, I’m usually: halfway through my day. Isn't everyone?

10. Last night: was dark.

11. If only I had: a Holocaust Cloak...

12. Next time I go to church: I won't laugh at inappropriate moments.

13. What worries me most: is ninjas. Sneaky bastards.

14. When I turn my head left I see: my drink.

15. When I turn my head right I see: The Jolly Roger.

16. You know I’m lying when: the truth isn't working.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: my girlish figure.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: really, really old by now.

19. By this time next year: it'll be September.

20. A better name for me would be: someone else's name.

21. I have a hard time understanding: why They haven't come for me yet.

22. If I ever go back to school: I'll likely have to be chained to my desk so as not to hurt anyone.

23. You know I like you if: I allow you to live.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my sister that threatened to kill me in my sleep. She made me stronger. And insomnial.

25. Take my advice: with a grain of salt.

26. My ideal breakfast is: cooked by someone else.

27. A song I love but do not have is: probably not found on a bootleg website.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: pack heat.

29. Why won’t people: get out of my way?

30. If you spend a night at my house: you're probably lost.

31. I’d stop my wedding so: I could run a financial background check.

32. The world could do without: insurance. But it won't.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: a snail.

34. My favorite blonde is: Miss Clairol.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: gum for holding papers together.

36. If I do anything well it’s: an opportunity to boast.

37. I can’t help but: laugh.

38. I usually cry: foul!

39. My advice to my child: is probably ignored. I didn't raise a fool.

40. And by the way: I'm still not here, Erica.

Sep 8, 2008

A Word of Caution to Moms

It doesn't matter how old your son is, he will always delight in making you go, "Ack! What is that? Get it away from me!"

Mine still does this, albeit from afar by way of the Intartubes:





Ack!

(And yes, I'm still not here. Sorry, Erica.)

Sep 7, 2008

I Must Say--

--you're all taking this remarkably well. The Large Hadron Collider is supposed to open a deadly wormhole and swallow up Time itself on Wednesday, and the most discussion ya'll can muster is a feeble observation about Humpday! (I agree, it's a sucky day, but it'll be like, Thursday in Australia, and Thursday is the day we all Get Stuff Done.)

Have none of you ever considered existential questions like, "If the world ends while I'm asleep, how will I know?" This bothers me no end. I hate being the Last To Know and am somewhat of a news junkie. Does this idea of missing out bother Real Reporters when contemplating the End of the World As We Know It? Well it bothers me.

Happily for others, I guess there's nothing like going out at the ziggurat of one's existence.

.
.
.

Oh, hey! "Hole In The Wall" is on...

.

The World Will End on Wednesday

This is why I can't blog anymore... because the following is what my brain is full of:

The world will end on Wednesday, before your second cup of coffee. Discuss.

*****
Sarah Palin is a woman who said "No," to Republican suitors seeking her endorsement in the primaries. Twice. I think there is nothing so alluring about a woman as a bit of reticence and mystery. Take note, young teenage tramps who advertise, "bootylicious" across your butts. The boys'll come-a-running, but they won't ask you for a commitment.

I think Palin's chary reluctance drove McCain to exasperation and a second look. And a proposal.

*****

I think this comment, left on a blog I enjoy, is astute; your mileage may vary:

I think McCain revealed this last night at the end of his speech. He admitted he was all about himself, a self-created man. But it took great pain, failure, brokenness for him to live for something outside himself.

IMO the failure of the Left is they are forever unwilling to actually suffer to reach that place and you do NOT reach that place without suffering. The Left via their witchcraft will make everyone else suffer so they can reach that place. That is why all their Utopias end in OTHERS dying...by the truckloads.
*****

If dealerships that sell luxury vehicles were allowed to serve alcoholic libations on-site, buyers would instantly be a happier, much more sophisticated clientele, who could convince themselves of their superior choice. Much like buying B-grade art. It doesn't happen without alcohol.

*****

This is the most intelligent, funny 42 minutes i've enjoyed since Sarah Palin's speech. plus, Nathan Fillion can sing. Who knew? (Thanks, Tanya!)

*****

I think that the phrasing of, "Attention Deficit Disorder" is really a reflexive of the true problem: A lack of interest in the immediate world that comes at us in sound bites, 3-second images, shallow observations, and instant emotional gratification. Ergo, you are the most interesting thing in my world for the next 3 seconds. Make it count, or I'm moving on.

Schools and teachers have only exacerbated this problem by emulating the television. Kids are smarter than all of it. They are not paying attention because they've already seen the Readers Digest MTV version of life and it bores them. Give them a problem that can't be solved in 30 minutes, explained in 90 seconds, or erased with a Tide Pen, and watch them focus.

*****

I never buy Nutella except when my DIL is in town. Nutella is evil. I must have it! No! It has me.

*****

I think Jimbo has a fine hobby.

*****

Oh! A shiny object!....
Over there! ....

*****

Update already: Hating Sarah Palin is a Disease. And he has the cure. Seriously!




Sep 6, 2008

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Meanwhile, don't expect me to be here. Honest. Pinky-swear.

I do so have a life.

*****

P.S. I'm thinking of doing some drive-by blogging as an art form for those with feed-readers. Post it, and then delete it. I think of it as a shared art project among friends. Non-geekoids can't see it.

I'm pretty sure I can piss off most everyone who has linked me before I'm through. I wonder if the blog name MsAntropist is taken?


Better Than Blogging



I have 100 things to say/write/rant about the election,life, work, but y'know what?

This is where I'm gonna be on Saturday mornings for starters:




It's been about 30 years since I first picked up a guitar, showed up at a jam and struggled to keep up with the old-timers. 27 years of music with a 4 year hiatus and I'm thinking it's now time to get back to the music. I miss my art, my sculpting, solitary pursuits, for sure. But as I try to reconnect with people, there's truly nothing like music to ease back into life and friendships.

This is a long-standing group, within the Gamble Rogers legend, and well-adjusted to newbies. Next Saturday morning it'll be time to pack up the guitar and get busy with the music.

Laters. Much later...

Sep 1, 2008

Vacancy

Thanks for your kind attention. Fare thee'all well.

:o)

-Joan

OMG, They've Made a Movie About Dogette's Nabes

I saw this movie trailer for Lakeview Terrace this morning and my first thought is posted there in the title of this post.

And you thought perhaps Dogette was exaggerating for comic effect? I now have to go back and read her posts about her neighbors, but read them in a totally new light.

She's not kidding when she posts things in the category, "weird shit." See also, "my head is asploding" and "poles".

And you thought your condo association was a pain in the ass.