Jan 2, 2009

The Ninth Circle of Limbo

No matter how much the nuns would try to assure me, the idea of "Limbo" just unsettled my six year-old brain. It still does.

Now that we're all past the maudlin meditations of Peace on Earth and New Beginnings, I feel perfectly released to cry out in the anguish of Limbo, a place worse than whatever fresh, new Hell may be awaiting us on the other side of it. Here I have a handy scale that moves from the personal to the cosmic. Is it as much fun as a Death Pool? No, but it's far scarier.

With apologies to Dante:

Limbo 1: Job situation. I haven't said much, but after yet another Flying Dutchman career performance in Real Estate support (what fun that was, to watch property get marked down by the 100's of thousands overnight!), I do have a pretty big fish on the line. It's with a company I've worked for before and it's in the para-hospital industry. Could be another sign that the medical industry is headed for collapse, if they hire me. Which, I'm told, any day now. It's a newly created position and I'd be the first and preferred applicant. But you know, protocols must be followed. I've been waiting for two months. I really can't get another job for the interim as I don't know when, exactly. Or where, at this point, since we'll be moving soon. Can't make any plans except for packing things up.

Limbo 2: My stock portfolio, ravaged and shamed as it is, needs someone to love and protect it, someone who still finds worth in her slight frame and pitiable offering. But where is such a White Knight of investment? They're all home in their castles, wondering what their money is worth, too. So there she sits, waiting. Her shelf life is waning as more and more money is printed.

Limbo 3: Credit Lending. If the bank doesn't have money for sale, where is everyone going? I mean, besides to their Rich Uncle Sam? They're not. Not going. Just sitting and waiting. I heard an economist on NPR the other day talking about the Scrooge Effect of just holding onto one's money and not investing it anywhere but into the mattress. This economist went further to state that banks are like faeries: when people don't believe in them, they die.

Limbo 4: Health Care. If the One makes good on the so-called Mexico City Policy matter, we'll lose around 1400 hospitals when the Catholics demur on their charitable willingness to provide quality health care in an already marginalized industry, refusing to compromise their moral conscience. I believe this will be a win-win for Obama when it becomes another crisis in need of government intervention. He'll look progressive for embracing the Left's death cult and he'll gain another huge foothold into the economy.

Limbo 5: Global warming.
I think it's a farce but that doesn't matter to the delusional press, whose journalism degrees should be revoked en masse. But it's got everyone in a state of flux; coal, gas, manufacturing, automakers, builders... everyone. Which means we wait. But we can't just wait, we'll have to listen to stupid politicians pretend they're scientists and watch sad polar bears and penguins die slowly on our television.

Side Out: Sarah McLaughlin et al, you lost me with your, "Silent Night" bit. I swear, it's enough to make me want to drown kittens and put down mongrel dogs with a hammer. I love animals enough to do the right thing by them; namely, cull the feral cats, raccoons, dog packs and squirrels that bring disease, fleas, and rabies into the community. You wanna spend your money and sanity on disease-ridden curs, well I guess the young vets need the practice. But don't go equating your "humane movement" and whale wars with religious salvation and arms of angels, (which I always thought was a song about blow.)

Limbo 6: Yellowstone. It's just there, simmering away in the cold of winter.

Limob 7: Russia. It's just there, simmering away in the cold of winter.

Limbo 8: Iran. Palestine. Pakistan. Syria. - see my remarks to Sarah McLaughlin about diesease-ridden animals.

Limbo 9: The Piracy of a Nation. Don't scoff. You thought Waterworld was just another overwrought post-apocalypic vision? Well, if Al Gore is right, and the banks are broke, and the world stage is at war, our savings are plundered, our industries choked by specious sceince, our personal Rights squelched, well... what better time to be a pirate with the Presidential Seal of Approval? Health Care, Energy Resources, Banks, Industry, and Infrastructure all up for grabs, backed by the Civilian National Security Force.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.


10 comments:

pamibe said...

...just when I thought I could get my oatmeal down...

I should market realism and call it the Pre-apocalyptic Diet.

LauraB said...

A song about blow - I blew my coffee on that one. Hilarious!

And Yellowstone is just a redecorating to come. Someone noted the sudden loss of quite a lot of water in the area. You think? Heh...

As for moving...oh, do tell me its thissaway!! Go West!

WV: molitsk - bivalve with a lisp?

Anonymous said...

heh! i thought I was the only one rolling my eyes and vaguely pizzed off at Sarah Mc. one of my favorite songs evah but nooooo, she couldn't leave it alone...

Joan of Argghh! said...

Just for the record: my own adorable Pepper Dog is a rescued dog. However, she was not a feral cur, but was found barefoot and pregnant and running from abuse.

Am I grateful for those who took her in? Yes. Did I pay for her? Yes. Dearly. Do I think I've saved the life of a human being, or saved the world? NO. Her plight, as pathetic as it was, was not and will never be equivlant with human suffering.

Although she's a damn sight better person than many humans.

PeggyU said...

Yes ... limbo, purgatory, suspended animation ... that is exactly the state of mind my husband and I are in as well. Over the Christmas break, the pipes at his office froze and broke. Water damage, of course - and it looks like it will be another two weeks before they are all able to work at the office. In the meantime, he works from home. It throws things out of kilter. Nothing seems to be where it belongs. This while he and his coworkers speculate whether the office may simply be closed for good.

In my job, the hours were cut back AND everyone took a pay cut ... though I expect we will be crazy busy very soon. Strange to anticipate a frenzy of work in a sluggish economy.

---------

I wonder how it is to be one of the messiah faithful ... who believe he can raise and lower oceans at will. Do they sense this uneasy pause? Or are they still deliriously giddy from the carousel ride of the election? I would still like to know what exactly it is they are hoping for.

GUYK said...

Yeah...and I am prepared and getting more prepared with my private security force because I ain't gonna take no bull shit from Obama's Civilian National Security Force...and I have this suspicion that I ain't by myself...in fact I know that I am not!

Irrelephant said...

And I thought I was the only person who freaked utterly out (at grade school age) about Purgatory and all that waiting around while your still-living relatives pray you out of there. I'm so glad I got over religion.

John Holton said...

I don't know if what you described is Limbo or Purgatory; I guess we'll find out after January 20. Whatever it is, though, it sure ain't pretty. Good luck on the new job, and a belated happy new year.

Richmond said...

"banks are like faeries: when people don't believe in them, they die."

Do we need to start clapping then?? Seriously - I wanna help...

Joan of Argghh! said...

Clap 'em on the ears is what I'd like to do. Banks, equity buyers, mortgage companies...