Apr 9, 2009

Don't Wanna Play Well With Others

Birds of a feather and all that.

I don't like your rap, your rasta, your dreds, your drugs, your drama, yo mama, or any of that.

I don't speak your lingo, don't like your lip-piercings, or care for your culture. Had enough of your stuff, and just wanna get back to me and mine. I wanna read about your good times and amazing accomplishments but don't wanna bow at your altar, worship your gods, or feed your fetishes.

I don't wanna know about your sex life, your size, your stamina, your preferences... if I do, I'll want credible references. Know what I mean?

I don't wanna hear your gum-cracking, lip-smacking, cell-phone yakkin' in my ear.

Don't need to hear about things about you and yours that I may have to testify in court about.

Don't want to wait at the light while you finish your texting, sexting, boyfriend ex'ing messages.

Tired of looking at your crap blowing across my yard, your cigarette butts on the street, your naked and oversized limbs, your camel-toes or boxer shorts or misshapen boobs.

Look, I'm civilized, why can't you be? I don't need you to like me, don't need your country to like my country. Doesn't mean we can't get along as business partners or neighbors. Unless you insist on blinding lights, or all-night parties.

Other than that, won't you be my neighbor?


pamibe said...

Nice rap; I didn't know you lived in my 'hood. :)

Hammer said...


What are the 6 scariest words a person can hear?

Hi I be yo new neighbor.

leeann said...

Nor did I know you lived in my neighborhood.

Hammer- truer words rarely spoken.

Jim - PRS said...

Nah, she must have spent a week in Jersey.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...


Xul said...

I thought you be livin' in Norf Florida, not Sowf.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I hope nobody thinks I'm racist.

I'm just tired of the whole of our culture seeking to be hip or goth or druggies or homosexuals or metros or whatever. I'm so done with all the multi-culti drama.

How about if we're just. . . ourselves. Enjoy ourselves, but not insist that everyone be fabulous?

Uh-oh. I'm about to get it cranked up again!

dogette said...

I like it when you crank up. I'm tired of that stuff too. The fun in watching people try to out-do each other (more hipness!) is that when EVERYONE is covered in tats, those without tats become the more hip ones, at some point. That always amuses me. "It's hip to be square."

Sorry to quote Huey Lewis. That was lame but I revel in my lameness, and my lameness has ramped up so much that I'm now pretty COOL and HIP.

pamibe said...

The Zombie Chicken has landed. If you choose to accept this mission $0 will be wired to a numbered account in the Cayman Islands.

This comment will self destruct in... 1...2...3... {poof}

diamond dave said...

Perfect! Won't you be my neighbor?

mushroom said...

Joan does the Kiz-meye-azz Rap.

I didn't get any racist vibe in this. But then, to me, I can't imagine anything more racist than to accuse people who act decent of "acting white".

Bill Kenny said...

I can't get the image of Mr. Rogers out of head now! The good news is it dislodged the Mr. Ed theme song that was previously playing in there, so I guess I owe you a thanks.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes. Civilized. I concur, civilization for the civilized. As for the rest of you ............


Van said...

Aggravating to be sure, even discouraging... but it could be worse... you could be unaware of it being a problem - a true consumer, consumed by it and not be aware of it. Cold comfort perhaps, but... better cold now than hot later.

In our thoughts Joan.

Bob said...

I, too, love it when you crank up! And you've got some mighty good commenters here.