Sep 28, 2009

Gah! I'm Sick of Women on the Football Field

In fact, I'm sick of most of them wherever they think they need to be in order to bring some sort of "otherness" to a man's sport; baseball, basketball, soccer.

I'm watching a man's sport because I'm interested in men. And their sport. How they play it, what their team stats are, how well they faked out the defender, and maybe how exquisite and graceful they look as they dive for the long pass, or even how deliciously funny the huddle can appear. I don't need farookin' wymyn's perspective, insight or to even see their faces, much less hear their voice. Move! Get off of my TV! Get out of my face! Ack!

I wanna hear a man's voice, a man's thoughts, and a man's perspective. If I want to hear a woman yammer I can turn the volume back up in my own brain. Nothing makes me madder than to see some woman come up to the losing coach, humiliated team member or other guy and start asking how it feels. "It feels like losing, ya stupid bint. It feels like crap and I wanna put my fist through a wall right now, okay?" Man, I'd love to see that dialogue.

Who thought it was a good idea to put estrogen on the field of battle? I mean except as an incentive, you know, a catalyst of chesty cheerleaders. They selflessly serve to incite the inevitable jostling for supremacy among the males; all quite feral and necessary for ramping up the testosterone.

It's just that men and their sports, men behaving in a manly, disciplined yet aggressive way, are fantastic eye-candy and good for the female er. . . state of mind. Another woman standing in front of them just pegs our pissy mood meter all the way over to instinctive jealousy. Get that beeyatch outta my way!

Women sportscasters. They're ruining football for me.

14 comments:

Ricky Raccoon said...

When I’m more paranoid, I’m going to check for an increase in the number of Subaru commercials.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I have no idea what that means.

*pout*

Erica said...

This post kind of aroused me, which makes me think I should give football -- which I have never much enjoyed -- another chance.

Ricky Raccoon said...

I understand, Joan.
Subarus for some reason attract, well, women who prefer women. And Subarus. Who they are trying to attract could explain the women on the field thing.
Just a theory. But I’m not paranoid. I don’t think. I haven’t noticed if there were more Subaru commercials.
So in this case, I’m glad you didn’t get my joke :-)

LauraB said...

Amen, Joan...more need not be said.

julie said...

Interesting, Ricky. I'd never heard that theory before.

And Joan, yep. I haven't been paying close attention, but what I've seen has left me grossly underwhelmed.

diamond dave said...

I don't have a problem with female sportscasters that are truly into the game and can intelligently discuss football (and there's been a few). But when they do it just to put a feminist spin on things, or show themselves off at the players' expense, my patience runs out quickly.

patti said...

Wow! I'm not alone! I've been fussing about not wanting to see a woman on the sidelines of football games since the first woman spertscaster I saw at a football game. Gah! We are different, seriously we are! Women got no business covering football - especially skinny little tiny pretty blond women (which somehow they all seem to be). But I'm a little backward yet :)

mushroom said...

"pretty blond women" -- I'm suddenly having trouble understanding the problem here.

pamibe said...

AMEN! Preaching to the choir here... LOL!

Velociman said...

I agree. They should stay where they belong, which is in their hotel rooms, where they can be surreptitiously filmed in the f**king NUDE, baby! That's what I'm talkin about.

dogette said...

Sounds like a crapass idea to me, too, and I don't watch any sports, even. But I think the sound of a female 'caster during a football game would be annoying. Like QVC. That's some wrist-slashing shit right there.

p said...

Plus, I don't want no woman on the sidelines sayin' dumb stuff while I'm trying to watch all those tight asses (I mean "ends?") in a huddle - heehee

Teresa said...

That's why I've started watching hockey. Fast moving and no room for a blond bimbo on the sidelines asking people how they feel or what they think of the other team or other such crap.

However, they have now brought the "interview" garbage to when the period ends... just like interviewing a baseball manager during a game. BAH!

LEAVE THEM ALONE - wait for the press conference to ask them questions you idiots!!!