Nov 30, 2009

The Aztecs Must've Known How Algore Feels

"God is dead." -Nietzsche, 1882

"ManBearPig is dead." - Internet, 2009

How shall we then live?

I've always wondered how it felt to the average Aztec to see the sun rise on the day after their defeat by Cortez. All those sacrificial offerings to "make the sun rise" were proven to be a political ploy by their rulers; a way to manage their population and keep the proteins and fats in the diets of the feasting cannibal kings.

If AGW is a wash, and a mini Ice Age is upon us, how do you plan to celebrate observe the triumph of facts over superstition? Let's make a list:

  • Throw out the pig-tail light bulbs, first and foremost. Gah!
  • Crank up the heat this winter.
  • Drill, drill, drill! Sarah Palin is a friggin' genius!
  • Buy an SUV just to stick it to the car-killers.
  • Make a vegan cry.
  • Have a hamburger. Increase the demand for bovine flatulence as a way to warm the cooling atmosphere.
  • Tilt at windmills
  • I hear nuclear energy is a tremedous source of heat and light. Let's experiment on Iran!
Feel free to add on. My list is lame, I know. Providing excellent content is your job.


julie said...

Dunno if I can add anything, I just like the "make a vegan cry" & "have a hamburger" options. I've been seriously craving red meat the last few weeks. This kid is definitely going to be a meatatarian...

Mmmmm... steak....

P.S. - I wonder if research on this ridiculous project is going to be halted? Probably not - that would indicate intelligence on the part of everyone involved. I'm sure the researchers in question will be crying that nothing is invalidated just because of a few emails, and that to save the world they must STOP the BURPING!!!

pamibe said...

Great list; hate those light bulbs!

leeann said...

I never gave in to the lightbulb nazis. But I have made a vegan cry, and it was because of a cheeseburger. Also, I have a mini-suv already, and I honk at windmills, although I have to admit I have a fascination with them... can't look away, they look so nicely alien.

mushroom said...

They are not going to drop this. In MO, Roy Blunt, who is a Congressman now, is going to run for the open U.S. Senate seat next year. There are already attack ads running against him about how he voted against Cap-and-Tax (they call it something more noble sounding) and against reducing carbon in the atmosphere at the behest of Big Oil.

The left is going to trust their media lapdogs to keep this story down below the fold while everyone talks about Tiger and Obamba's latest speech-of-his-life on Afghanistan. I saw where someone called it ClimediaGate. Robert the lost BeeGee that's Obamba's press secretary was still saying today that the emails change nothing, there's still climate change, the science is still settled. If only he had a beret and a Ministry of Information uniform.

I don't think they'll be successful in the long run, but it's their story, and they're stickin' to it.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Steak n' Mushroom! :^)

Bring on those carbons! I mock the idea of a carbon footprint.

Sal said...

Well, if it's going to be a mini-Ice Age, then I really really really need that little greenhouse we saw at the Fair. Right?
And some more wool to spin. Lots of wool.
And a Tiny House, 'cause they're easier to heat.
Hmmm, this may work to my advantage...

Froth said...

We smoke a brisket/ribs/chicken on a regular basis. It delivers, depending on the wind levels, a low level haze that covers the neighborhood and makes our neighbor jump in fright thinking we're burning the place down.
Just helping the cause.
I also plan on wearing tons of cosmetics tomorrow, including perfumes,to continue my consumption of unfriendly substances.