Changing What I Can

And trying to accept what I can't change. Like the header border. Blogger is so stilted.

The new header pic is one I snapped while driving my car along the river's edge on the way to work; back when I lived in a satellite bedroom community of The Big City. Since I now have moved back to the Big City (it's a relative term), it seemed time to change up the place a bit.

Anyhoo, it's a picture that perfectly captures the serenity of life near ancient waters, even if they do flow North. I may keep it for a while. The other, with its directional marker, doesn't fit my psyche right now. I've no where to go, no money to get there. Might as well watch the moss float in the soft breezes of an October morning.

Taxpayer Prize Patrol. This is the competent conservatism we've been searching for.

Brilliant. You will totally kick yourself if you don't watch this. And show it to your children:

Nicked it from Big Hollywood. Heh.

Edited For Clarity

Via Don Surber and Instapundit, courtesy of the Tennessee GOP we have this:

...which would be funny if it weren't so tragic. Plus, it might be considered reckless endangerment by the driver. Endangerment of his own health. But, as some have suggested, they'd rather see the phrase more serviceable to the taxpayers. I aim to please:

The TGOP's sticker is available for purchase, but to what end? Which would you rather pay for to put on your car? Honestly. The GOP is losing its marketing edge.

The 23rd Annual "Iron Man" Weekend Is On. Sharpen your knives.

It's two weeks away, March 13, 14 (another Friday the 13th!):
the ultimate Slacker Event of 24 Hours of Bowling, Darts, Golf, Horseshoes, and Billiards. Oh, and lots of beer. Beer is central, and is only part of the weekend with a real Referee Rule attached.

The J.R. and Dangerous Dan and their posse are making plans to join the Bike Week Bikers, Lawyers, Physicians, and other nefarious competitors from around the country for the most grueling 24 hours of mettle-testing diversion you can imagine. It's a fitting sort of under-achiever event that just speaks volumes about what it takes to live here.

If you think you might be down in North Florida in two weeks and want to belly up with the best of the Worst, drop me a line and I'll try to send you some sketchy details of where to stay, cost, etc.

I can't promise a knife fight in the parking lot at 2 a.m. this year, however.

How I Spent 45 Minutes on Your Blog

Dear Blog Owner,

I know your site meter showed me lolling about your web site for almost an hour with only two page views and one outclick to show for it. Just so you don't think I'm a slow moron, or that you're all that fascinating, let me give you an idea of just what happens while I'm surfing the awesomeness that is your blog:

• I've opened about 15 tabs on Firefox and yours is last.
• I was riveted by your latest wart-removal story, really, but then the dog needed to go out.
• While breathlessly perusing your diatribe about your work, I had the sudden urge to go out and buy a Lotto ticket.
• The news and commentary on your site gave me apoplexy. I recovered 42 minutes later and moved on. I'm sure it was due to a misplaced apostrophe.
• Your post was brilliant! I started a post about your post, which lead to more research and other links and then splintered off into a full-blown rant which is still sitting in my "drafts" moulder-folder. Then, it was time to start dinner...
• Gawd, your stuff is funny! It leads to other funny YouTube stuff. Soon, I am an expert on ditch-surfing behind a pickup truck.
• Your links led me to more interesting sites and I forgot to come back and close the tab on your blog. I may have deleted you altogether, I don't remember. Nah. You're still cool.
• The scary clown on your site triggered a latent, suppressed memory and the next 44 minutes were spent on the phone with my therapist.
• My job keeps interrupting.

Dear Blog: I'm just not that into you.

Feh.

.

Six-minute Miracle!!!11!! FAIL. Miracle!!

WTF are the MSM drinking? How did Bernanke heal and destroy the stock market in 6 minutes?

If you click to embiggen you can see the two time-stamps on the different reports.

Update: Stocks are up!

What can you personally do in six minutes to change our economy, beyatch?
	Uh...
	Bernanke is a god. Only he can perform this miracle.
	Forget it. I got enough for an RC and a Moon Pie.
pollcode.com free polls

Satisfyin'

Not Hard to Understand --

Just hard to state it so brilliantly:

Why do "liberals" hate freedom so much? Were they that much the losers in high school that glomming onto the elitist bandwagon is so important? For losers like that the only way to be important is to make other people unimportant. And you do that by taking away their freedom, their wealth, their pursuit of happiness. And you do that by enlisting the multitudes of failure, each of whose vote counts as much as yours or mine, and play upon their envy. Liberals point at success and tell the failures "That can be yours. Merely empower me and I will make it so." -Velociman

From the comments of the previous post. Too good to languish there.

I Just Can't

I can't read one more outrageous thing in the news. Obama's ACORN Brownshirts confiscating foreclosed homes, his new Office of Urban Affairs (aka ACORN writ large), nationalization of banks. I don't recognize our country any more.

It's not mere disagreement. It's diametrically opposed world views creating a rift that cannot be bridged with wishing.

And should not be bridged, either.

*****

Deep breaths... here, let me redirect to something more poignant:

The Streets and Rails of Cleveland are Safe At Last

In a dramatic and perfectly timed exit befitting the amateur thespian that he was, my father passed away last night... on my oldest sister's birthday.

She's beside herself with pique at this last bit of his upstaging her life, but will join us nonetheless as we bid farewell to the dear, if perplexing, old fart. Oh, how that would make his eyes twinkle to hear me insult him like that! His mock dismay at such cheek and lack of respect for his years... sigh...

Just last month my sister said, "I just know he's waiting to die on my birthday, the rat!" She's uncanny like that. He is too, apparently. They haven't spoken in years except for our recent visit in which he was too addlepated to actually connect with us. Family. Funny, strange, and transcendent. Go figure.

I awoke last night, worrying about so many things. Money, work, health. I strengthened my mind against the onslaught and rolled over with a deep sigh, seeking to return to sleep. Suddenly, my entire body shuddered with a wave of visceral awareness of something. It washed over me and I thought it rather strange because it wasn't a panic attack but a sudden sense of frailty and smallness, the way one can feel all alone on the sea or the side of a huge mountain. I wondered if my father had just passed away, or something quite jarring was happening somewhere in the world. Eventually I drifted back into the safety of the unconscious.

I got the phone call this morning and was simply gobsmacked, almost laughing with incredulity at the outrageous exit of my old man. I would have been deeply disappointed by anything less, I suppose.

Patriotism: You Go First

A small thing, but many folks still claim the minimal deductions for their paycheck taxes. For the love of your own well-being WHY would anyone still do that? Have your employer update your W-2 for the maximum amount of dependents and exemptions. Do it NOW. It's an old and frugal habit so many of you have had for years, allowing Uncle Sam to keep a bit extra and earn all sorts of interest on your OWN money. No more! Take it to the edge and erase all the margins possible.

Time to put your Uncle on a diet. Obama said so.

Do you owe taxes? How about asking for an extension for filing? Businesses do this all the time, but regular worker bees don't consider it. Use your money while it's still worth something, give it back to the government after they've devalued it. That kinda small stuff adds up quickly when multiplied by millions. And it will cause extra work for the IRS drones. It's not like there's money to hire more of them.

We need some old-fashioned Russian dissidents from the Cold War era to teach us the thousand ways there are to aggravate a politburo with paperwork.

Tax revolt in the streets all you want, but you gotta get serious about starving the hogs in Washington. It's obvious they're in no pain whatsoever as they go on their important pilgrimages around the world, hire journalists for government jobs, and feed Acorns to the squirrelly voters.

And by the way, if you haven't filed your taxes yet, good luck getting any returns owed you. I mean, while money still has value. Think of it as double or triple taxation the longer you wait. You overpaid, they squandered it; you want it back, they devalue it by printing tons of money. It bears repeating that the printing of more money is the easiest way for the government to effectively tax its citizens without being obvious about it.

Meanwhile, I read that one big city is taxing its citizens' water bills to pay for a promised water utilities refund owed to their customers. You can't make that sort of bureaucracy up, folks. It takes years and years of voter neglect to cultivate that kind of incompetent, arrogant, festering abuse of power.

Domestic Abuse and Other Thoughts

• You know, housekeeping, if done properly, can kill you.
• I'm wondering, in light of evolutionary adaptation, which came first: the chin or the pillowcase?
• Having a laundry nook in a corner of the kitchen makes for interesting conversation as the neighbor notices all sorts of just-washed delicate items draped around the kitchen cabinet handles.
• I can stay at home and not need to do much of anything to keep the house running smoothly, but just add one sick/injured man and suddenly there is an exponential amount of things to.
• Daytime television: if it's not the history channel showing weapon pr0n, fuggedaboudit.
• I've been able to confirm that the Pepper Dog is the most laid-back creature I've ever known. A chill beast.
• Who knew that the dryer makes an awful buzz alret when it's done? I don't think I've ever been around to hear it.
• 30 years of organized office work is starting to pay off in the domicile, but really, how many spreadsheets does one need to know what's in the garage?

Solidarity in Deadwood

James Wolcott, in his paucity of original thought, is flinging poo at no lesser lights than our own local sherrifs of classical liberalism: Velociman, Jeff Goldstein and Vanderleun . That's a hat trick for better equipped women than Wolcott, however.

Hell no, I won't link him. He is a jaded fop hiding behind the Fair Vanity of his imagination and his handlers. He doesn't allow comments, and publishes no email address.

Wolcott. A man without feck.

Vanity Fair deigns its elite cadre of writers to engage and link to mere bloggers? Who has gained and lost in that equation? Wolcott dare not allow an exchange of fire with such men, lest he find his carcass tossed unceremonialy to the pigs of unconcerned capitalism accountants.

Velociman man rightly gives a pass to conservative writers/bloggers that cannot acknowledge what he has dared to say. It is a dangerous time for those who peddle opinion for cash.

Could be much more dangerous for those who merely speak truth for free.

Update: Just because...

(thanks to Pat Dollard for always posting this video.)

Welcome to the Collective

20,000 pounds of cement were pumped down the Borg ant-drain. The results are pretty impressive. Draw what parallels you may:

Could Obama Get Any Meaner?

I mean, in the sense of smallness. If he doesn't pace himself, he'll disappear altogether.

Via Cripes Suzette, c/o Newsbusters, we learn of a new outrage perpetrated by The Small One's tone-deaf arrogance:

Obama returns the treasured Bust of Churchill loaned to us after9/11:

A British Embassy spokesman said: "The bust of Sir Winston Churchill by Sir Jacob Epstein was uniquely lent to a foreign head of state, President George W Bush, from the Government Art Collection in the wake of 9/11 as a signal of the strong transatlantic relationship.

What do you think?

Why Give Churchill's Bust Back to the Brits?
	Chill. It's O's way of saying the WOT is over
	It made Michelle's feet look really big in contrast
	Even after death, a Great Man will intimidate the Small One
	Churchill wasn't quite PC when it came to Muslims
	Stupid "buy American" provision in Porkulus Spending
pollcode.com free polls

Off the Grid: Aliases

(Now then, some of these answers are true, where harmless to me, but seriously, folks, don't give away too much. Some of these sound like password verification questions. So, have fun, but be safe. Besides, Obama's dirt-digging bitch is watching you!)

1.YOUR REAL NAME: Joan of Argghh!

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle name)
Dell Henry

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad)
Justice Jennings

4.STAR WARS NAME:[the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name]
Argjo

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Heeler

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Gail Jackson

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add “THE” to the beginning)
The Blue Mojito

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Johh

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Karmel Sutra Sandie

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet’s name, street you grew up on):
Gypsy Cinderella (stg it's true! Gonna title my first book with that!)

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle):
Argizzle

13.YOUR IRAQI.. NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name):Ogofanghh

14.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets):
Black Pepper

15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy)
Opium Kiss

h/t Christina

Oh, Like You're Getting Any Work Done Today

This fascinating and artistic time waster is brought to you by Joanne Casey.

Just do a quick sketch, and watch the Scribbler turn it into art. Here's my attempt, drawing with the regular computer mouse:

Be sure to explore the settings for creative effects in real-time as it scribbles. Keep the trigger finger on the "pause" button or your subject could quickly become some kinda zombie. No, I don't want to see what you've drawn, gentlemen, as if we can't all just guess.

Highly addictive; you've been warned...

Beautiful.

My dear Liberal and Left friends, when I speak of Truth and Beauty in the public political debate, it is completely encompassed in this short and excellent video:

If the truth is too tedious to Twitter, maybe it's at least short enough to hear for yourself. If you didn't wait for the last word, you've missed the whole point.

h/t Mike Wilson.

Update: Atlas is Twitching...

To Paraphrase Chris Rock...

...All he's doing is offering Diktat.

Medicare and Medicaid are already bankruptcy-inducing programs created not to actually, you know, care for you, but to help you shuffle off this mortal coil as quickly as possible, with as few assets as possible.

Young skulls full of mush, I don't care what your political bias might be. If you think your so-called legislators are actually showing compassion for the poor and elderly, well --you just might be surprised to find that they really mean you.

They certainly don't mean it for themselves.

Yeah, I'm a bit preoccupied.

Must be a lot of that going around.

In other news, I saw a little red fox just about to jump in front of my car on the way home tonight.

"No, little guy!! Don't cross the busy highway!"

And for some reason, that moment haunts me. He looked up, reconsidered, and stood his ground. Damn, but I would've grieved to have to run him over. So beautiful a creature. A little red fox, lost in the suburban preserves, guant and needy.

Some days, you're just glad for LIFE, in whatever celebratory moment you can find it.

Ya'll be blessed and grateful, or I'll come over there and kick yo' cracker ass.

That is all.

Paws to Consider:

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you...

Without Math, You Can't Do This:

By way of apology for that last (now deleted) post, something fun:

Of course, without math, you could also do this:

I Want Him To Fail, too.

Inasmuch as the man stands opposed to sound fiscal doctrine, blind to hypocrisy, deaf to the dismay of half his country's concerns, and incredibly bent on promoting slavery on a scale so unthinkable as to destroy the last bit of good will between capitalism and government... I want him to fail.

In every way that he breaks his promise to uphold the Constitution, I wish him dismal failure. When he seeks to weaken our stance on the international stage, I sincerely Hope he trips on his own ego and breaks his own "stiff neck."

I want his dangerous policies to die in the crib before we are forced to pay for abortions around the world. I want him to freeze his ass off in the Offal Office of his Omnipotent Ego while people in Kentucky die for lack of a federal response.

I want him to fail and fail hard, sooner rather than later. We don't have the luxury of the Carter years when we could drink deep drafts of heady indulgence and political correctness without completely ruining the party with crass bribes, handouts, compromises, and an indecorous sense of one's surroundings.

Little did we know then. There's no excuse now, however.

Found in Translation

Too good to not share. From SobekPundit.

I've Been Invited!

My neighbor, the retired engineer, the one who insists that the Condo Association inform all residents when a train carrying nuclear cargo is rolling through town, who wants the condos to go "green" and install solar panels on each unit, now wants me to attend a meeting on The Economic Recovery.

Too bad I don't live there anymore, because this is what I'll be missing:

I know none of you go trolling on Leftist websites, and I would have never seen this marvel had I not been invited to a neighborhood spy session meeting. Click to embiggen the pic and look at the upper right-hand area... I can create a "MyBO" account! The email was from my.barackobama.com domain, too!

As exciting as it would be to join the cult, I think I'll demur on this opportunity to waste an hour on a Saturday sitting around and talking about things that stink like B.O.

There is no Hope for those affected by B.O. but we need to Dial it up a notch. It's no Secret that the term "B.O." carries a foul-smelling social stigma. You can Change shirts all you want, but without a Sure cure, B.O. is going to follow you to work, play, and now, even home, clinging to you like an IRS audit.

Ennyhoo, This mind-numbed Obama-bot is being a good boy and hosting a discussion of powerless implications, except to make people feel the good feeling of "belonging" and "being heard." Must be where that community-building grant money is going. Sadly, this kinda crap works: If we talk about it, then we've solved it.

Note to Michael Steele: The Republicans might be tempted to try to do this sort of thing, but like the Bible-thumpers, they can't have a meeting without passing the collection plate. Hell, the Republicans don't even pretend that you matter, they just ask for a check in the amount of ____.

At least Obama is pretending to want to cuddle afterwards.

Passed!

87.3% I'll take it, considering I just started studying a week ago, while packing and moving.

Thanks for all of your good thoughts and prayers. *mwuah!*

Gah, the pic they took of me for my license. Ugh.

Sorry, but...

...when my Google Reader gets up to 600 unread posts, I just sorta give up. Spent the weekend moving and studying and was too exhausted to watch the second half of the Super Bowl.

In other news, I take the State exam for Life and Health Insurance tomorrow. I get the feeling that while the concept of insurance feeds into my natural maternal instincts for protection and caution, its sedate and sensible concepts just grate on my gypsy soul.

But then I remember that I like having a roof over my head.

Stay tuned. I'll have a couple of days I can devote to political rants and controversy this week. Or maybe poetry. Oh yeah. Can't wait. Meanwhile, don't let your insurance agent know you do this: