Feb 1, 2010

Rookie Mistake

Laura and Dogette are going full-tilt at the windmills of their mind and I, for one, welcome our new blogosphere overlords.

However, they carelessly left their credentials laying about in the open where just any old mediocre blogger can right-click and filch it in mere seconds. Like this:I plan to put it in my sidebar, right there with Erica Sherman's lovely award and thus create a minor bit of confusion. I have no ill will or envy of Dogette's or Laura's considerable gravitas or dog costumes or dog poop, I just happen to have a larger vision. I dream of a world of equality, doesn't every pirate?

Here's the plan: AWARD SOCK-PUPPETS.

We are all A-List bloggers now. You, me, and others with more, er, narrowly defined tastes and predilections. Even cat-bloggers and dress smockers. . .

That's right. The more of us who filch the Golden Seal of Enlightenment & Accolades, the more the Blogosphere will be confused and disorganized! What'll they do with their oh-so-special lists then? Chaos, people. No one will know who is socially acceptable to read and soon, folks will find themselves blushing at eff bombs and quizzically wondering at alarming stories of Wal-Martians before they know where they are.

They'll hesitate for a moment, unsure if they should be actually enjoying themselves on our over-looked blogs, but the Golden Seal will allay their insecurities and give them the confidence to go ahead and guffaw at our brilliant jokes. They may even give serious consideration to our keen political insights or artistic visions. They may find themselves completey disoriented for hours on end, reading hilarious hijinx involving personal defects, stalkings, naked neighbors, quadratic equations or even YouTube videos that everyone has seen twice already. But they'll think it's fresh and bold and Worth Their Very Valuable Time.

No telling where it might lead. It's a brave new world I'm envisioning here. Work with me.

Update: I am Spartacus.

10 comments:

jwm said...

A- list?
BFD- I have a world famous blog.

JWM

PeggyU said...

Nyah! I could get a Nobel Prize if they keep the qualifications set where they are ...

pamibe said...

I like your moxie. ;)

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, I'll likely end up on the Shit List of bloggers, but hey, out here in the Wild Wild West anything's fair game! heh.

Laura said...

Rookie error? Ha. It is my intent to confuse the Internets and break up the incestuous monopoly of so-called A-Listers. So have at it. It is but a virus I manufactured in my lab and you are merely Patient A. EVERYONE becomes an A-Lister! (insert manical laugh here followed by a cough) My plan has only just began...

P.S. The button on my sidebar with the darker font works best as a button. Just saying.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA! You gals crack me the hell up!

jw

patti said...

Arrrr and avast me matie - well played like any great pirate o' the world wide interseas - ye wench done pilfered the bootie and applied the treasure where it will do the most good for ye merry band of pirates No buried treasure that be, twas right out in the open! or some such shit :)

I will try to work up the moxie to pilfer something or other at some point.

jwm said...

OT: check out the new post at Borderline Sociopathic.
IwantitIwnatitIwantit...

JWM

Sabra said...

This is too dayum funny. I may steal it to assist in contributing to the new confused world order.

Teresa said...

But... but... I already thought you were an A list blogger!

I'd steal it and put it on my sidebar, but I barely have time to get blog posts up. I only aspire to amuse the 10 people or so who drop by, I'll just doodle around in the shade from you really excellent bloggers. ;-)

BTW - the captcha word is listu... heh.