May 21, 2010

You Know What We Must Do:

We all have to move to Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, and secede from the Union and start building a new country from scratch. I wonder what sort of international support we could could get for that.


Key West doesn't have the huevos to actually secede, unless Jimmy Buffet funds their Slack single-handedly. I think he'd turn into a flaming racist when the ungovernable shores of the Keys turn it into a haven for drugs and crime.

But I think AriTexiMex would be a great country with good food, great hunting and fishing, offshore drilling, cotton, agriculture, cattle and tourism. And a space program. We could devise a way to finish off the San Andreas Fault and send California out to sea, thereby gaining passage to the East for trade with Taiwan and Singapore and Vietnam.

The only setback would be the Musica Norteña, but I think it would fairly easy to outlaw such an offense to the ears.


Like you have a better plan.

16 comments:

julie said...

Sweet - I'm ready!

ericasphotoblog said...

You can eat biscuits and gravy in Texas, right? Before I am ready to commit, I just need to know.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Not only do they have them, but they are as big as the plate!

ericasphotoblog said...

It would make me sad to leave Brooklyn behind, but I have always thought that, God forbid, should the time come, I would fight for a cause bigger than myself. I am not even sure who I would be fighting...the illegal vampires who think they can siphon off our nation's life blood, or the liberals who pre-meditatedly hand them the free road maps to our jugular and carotid artery.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Well, I almost--almost think it's too late to turn it back toward home. Like the pilgrims of old, seeing the entrenched mindset of serfdom and patriarchy all around them, they took a pretty big and bold chance for a new life, perhaps we may hope for some welcoming land where the standard of freedom is still honored.

Otherwise, Uruguay. When was the last time you heard about that country? Sounds perfect.

pamibe said...

I keep telling Texans to secede... but not to close the borders til I get back! ;)

So, yeah. I'm in.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I've got great ideas. Now I just need Soros-type money to bring my Master Plan to fulfillment.

Of course the Pilgrims just used boats. . .

ericasphotoblog said...

Funny, I was thinking Chile (very little corruption, strong economy, quality of life, etc). Plus, thank Bejus, all the horrible Marxist Sandinista revolutionary freakazoids are dead. I think they are a constitutional democracy now, which, quite frankly, given all the political upheavals in the past 30-40 years, impresses the shit out of me.

(I am obviously very comment-chatty this morning)

ericasphotoblog said...

Funny, I was thinking Chile (very little corruption, strong economy, quality of life, etc). Plus, thank Bejus, all the horrible Marxist Sandinista revolutionary freakazoids are dead. I think they are a constitutional democracy now, which, quite frankly, given all the political upheavals in the past 30-40 years, impresses the shit out of me.

(I am very comment chatty this morning)

Joan of Argghh! said...

Yes, Chile has always been on my go-to list, but I fear it is too high up in the alphabet. People are bored by the time they find Uruguay in the drop-down lists of life. Venezuela is too close to the bottom (literally, too) and therefore entirely undesirable and easily spotted.

Unassuming Uruguay. That would be my travelogue title for it.

ericasphotoblog said...

I defer to your wisdom and would be happy to fly out with you to scout out the territory. I think it would make a fine home.

Sheri said...

I've thought about that little "experiment" for years, the one where we let the liberals have part of the country and "we" get the other part. Only thing is, we get all the guns and we get capitalism and all the military and secure borders (we put up a wall and don't even let the libs in, heh); we get very small government and everything libs hate.

They get organic food, smart Cars, a truly bigass government, no privacy; they let everyone in without any checks at all ("Welcome Stranger!" in 102 languages). NO evil corporations, only sharing and caring! No fossil fuels, just, I dunno, wind power. NO chemicals or pesticides for farmers, no artificial anything.

Heh.

Daphne said...

Hope you like Hispanics, 'cause we have a lot of them down here.

To tell you the truth, I'll take Mexicans over liberals any day of the week.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I lived in Mexico City for almost five years. I can go with the onda.

Rob Sama said...

I'd be game. Could be something of a Libertarian paradise. But I bet Nevada might want in on that. I could actually see a few other Western states joining.

Erin said...

HA! Mexicans over liberals.

I'm probably going to have to read more of this blog to understand what sort of place AriTexiMex would be... but being the wife of a Texan... I'm my husband wouldn't mind such a thought.