Jun 2, 2010

Christopher Titus is Following Me. Should I Be Concerned?

Looky here at this bit of fine judgment displayed by one of my all-time favorite comedians:

I love Christopher Titus for the same reason I love Pat Conroy: I don't feel it unique or necessary to have to write a book about my youth or growing up in a 1200 sq ft house with seven other brothers and sisters. Between the two of them, they've pretty much covered all the bases.

Which means I can blog about blissfully boring oddities and non-dramatic passages in life.

And I don't have to mention that someone emptied their six-shooter at 3:00 a.m. this morning on the street in front of my house. What? I counted the shots: 1 . . . 23456. I checked the clock. I lay in the bed listening. No car. No shouts. No nothing. I peeked out the window from the darkened bedroom and saw more nothing.

I went back to sleep secure in the thought that I had more guns and ammo than they.

I think.


leeann said...

I named my car Titus after him because his CD was in my player constantly. Got it memorized.
I told H you were being followed by him and he said "On a scale of one to ten, that is the fucking coolest thing ever."
Then he wanted to know why I wasn't being followed as well. There is no pleasing that man.

PeggyU said...

I love it! :D Followed by Christopher Titus! What is he doing these days, besides following you, I mean? I liked his show, but I haven't seen anything of him on tv for a while.

Laura said...

I had some neighbors with some rough wannabe gangster teenage boys and they would hang out in the yard with pathetic do-rags on and one eve I heard some shouting so I looked out and three other dudes were standing there arguing with nabe kids and their friends (about six to seven kids) and all of a sudden one of the three pulled out a gun, held it ganster style to the side and fired off five rounds. NO ONE WAS SHOT. They were maybe seven feet away, and NO ONE WAS HIT. I was all "Goddamn that punk needs lessons." I was going to offer suggestions, like, HOW TO HOLD YOUR WEAPON FOR STARTERS YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT but they had all ran off.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Laura if you're lonesome for the 'hood just come on over to Chucktown, we'll make you feel right at home.

LeeAnn I think he's following me 'cuz I'm not a threat to his funny like you and Laura and Sheri would be. Hey, funny guys need something soothing and boring for a wind-down.

Peggy, go check out his demented website to see what he's doing. I just love his website's homepage.

Jewel said...

I was once out driving my paper route, and at about 4:30 am, just as I was stepping out of my van to take a paper to a door, I heard 6 shots. I had no cell phone, so I tried to wake the geezers inside, and I was able to finally get someone up, call the cops, where I gave a detailed description of what happened. (I heard gunfire and saw fleeing vehicles - a car and motorcycle. They drove right past me and saw me, too. They even circled round the block, giving me time to duck into a bush and hide)
Cops didn't believe me, and said it was trains coupling or firecrackers. Seething, I hung up on them.
They called 4 hours later to 'ahem' get some information about a possible shooting. I was THIS close to telling them to shove off...or something close.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Well, just THIS morning two blocks from here, the shooters succeeded in capping a guy in the leg. THAT one I slept through.

Gonna be a long summer.

Anonymous said...

How the hell have I never heard of this guy??? Just checking him out now. Thanks!