Jun 7, 2010

Death by Degrees

Is it better to die from heat prostration while vacationing in the middle of Florida, (geological description: the Great Sandy Ridge, local description: Hell) miles away from any hint of seabreeze, surrounded by great sweating hulks of overweight tourists, as the faint strains of It's a Small World (you're welcome) are being slowly replaced by the high-pitched whine of blood pressure building to a crescendo as you fall to the searing-hot pavement and the world really does become small, focusing to an ever-tightening aperture of regret and disappointment, or. . .

. . . shivering and eventually giving into peaceful sleep from hypothermia in the cold streets of Chicago in mid-February, an idea which I, having no practical imagination for such things must leave it to your imagination as to how cold that sort of cold is-- wait, I remember reading about Eskimo cabins wherein the wood freezes so solid that the steel spikes back out of the walls and have to be re-hammered in the Spring, that kind of cold?

Discuss.

19 comments:

leeann said...

I'm the wrong person for this question, since I would gratefully live out my life in Orlando, scrabbling with my sweat-encrusted walker from theme park to theme park, drying my face on Mickey's dingy waistcoat and stealthily splashing myself with the rot-infested waters of Huck Finn's island.
Don't even get me started on my lust for Universal's place.
I'm a masochist for all that shit.

Sal said...

From the blazing and surprisingly sometimes moist plains of North Texas:
Hot, hands down.
I don't do cold weather.
Function follows form, or something.
FL can be Hell, but we get to be Worse Than Hell- Sherman already called it.
Heh.

Phil said...

Either seems preferable to the neither here-nor-there drizzle that afflicts you for six months of the year with endless shades of grey.

That's grey with an 'e' not an 'a'!

Jean said...

I think broiling to death must be more painful than fading into a frozen sleep. 'A Small World' would only encourage suicide no matter the weather ;-)

JimDuncanRIP said...

I've ofter thought about this very dilemma...And in the end, I'll take the heat over the cold...Eapecially if I can duck into an air-conditioned theater...

HiPlainsDrifter 6-7-2010

sheri said...

Cold, what I wouldn't give for cold. Hot saps all motivation.

Yabu (EOTIS) said...

Hot and humid up this way as well. One of the coldest places I've ever been was in Chicago in mid-February. That damn wind off the lake will cut you in half. Minnesota is bad too...gotta cover all exposed flesh. I'm talking Ski Mask cold.

Damn, I've been to Iceland in February / March, and it wasn't that cold.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Phil, I always quibble within myself as to grey and gray. I like both words for what they convey.

I've experienced England for five days, but if you count the three I was being held hostage in Eastborne, then yeah, five whole days of grey.

Poor dear, that you must put up with that so continually!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Van: good point about the cold corpse v the rotting one! It's always best to put one's best face forward in social situations like funerals.

Joan of Argghh! said...

I've worked in an office where it was so cold I had to run hot water over my hands just so I could keep typing.

I told co-workers that if they found me face-down and asleep at my desk to please not think I was slacking, but call 9-1-1 as hypothermia was likely setting in.

Froth said...

My earlier comment disappeared.It must have gotten burnt up.

I grew up in Wisconsin and even after 40 some years if Inever see 80 below again it's too soon. Snow. Gray. Pah. Then Seattle. Drizzle. Gray. Pah.

I will bitch about but luxuriate in the sun and heat and sweat. Sun. Mmmm. Sun.

LauraB said...

Having served my decades in Chgo, I can promise you it is flash freeze the boogers on your face cold.

And I would choose a cold death because, as Jean notes, one falls into a gentle, preserved sleep. Not a bloated, fly encrusted instantly maggoted mess.

Erica said...

Heh...I trust you've seen this terrifying Twilight Zone episode, which your post is so eerily reminiscent of?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kjd3VJ1SYM

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh thanks a crap heap, Eri! That just wigged me out just before bed.

Sooo friggin' hot. . .

Sal said...

Erica
Good call! I was thinking of that one, too.

Laura said...

I'd take freezing to death over the heat. Anyday.

pamibe said...

A cold, numbing death; it's faster and more comfortable than the heat. Or... so I've been told.

Anonymous said...

.... I'll take door number two, ma'am..... I spent two years in the Arctic and then 8 years in the wilds of northern Europe - complete with Arctic Survial training courtesy of 45 Commando RM......

.... it is impossible to freeze me.... trust me, it's been tried, and it cannot be done.....

.... now melting?...... you can friggin have it..... give me Chicago in late winter with a heavy pair of socks and a flask of Scotch, and I'll live until it is swimming season........

... Florida in the summertine?..... just the thought makes me feet sweat......

Eric

leucanthemum b said...

My view has always been this: in the winter, you can always put on another layer of wool/fleece/down comfort, but there's only so much you can remove in the heat (legally or privately).

Besides, when it's really cold, you have an excuse for staying indoors with somebody significant, building a fire (not necessarily in a fireplace) and getting friendly. Heat puts a big wedge between people.